I have never really given this topic a thought, until I was forced to by an ‘awesome’ couple that visited me at the clinic today.
I’m quite aware of what is expected of me as a family physician, but what do you do when you have clients who have sexual issues in marriage? Both husband and wife love each other very much but are not on the same page in terms of their sex lives. Husband loves to try different sex positions but his wife likes it the ‘regular’ way (I didn’t even bother asking what the regular way was, I was already embarrassed as it was!). He has tried getting his wife to watch pornography with him so that she could learn a few ‘tricks’ but she has incessantly refused (due to religious reasons).
Now, can you imagine they came all the way to the hospital to inquire if there was a medical treatment for ‘sexual boredom’ (in the man’s own words), since his wife has refused to try the ‘devil’s method’. Like seriously?! I don’t remember studying ‘Sexology’ in medical school.
One time, if I remember clearly, a young man who got married as virgin, opened up to me during the course of his interview, the problems he was facing making love to his wife and
innocently ignorantly, I asked him to watch some porn…C’mmon, what did you expect me to say or do?! Funnily, he did and then came back to thank me for being very open sincere with him, that everything worked out after watching porn. I was dumbstruck. Of course, I was happy he was happy but it left me with questions in my head…now, these couple came with their own problems…there was no way I was going to suggest or agree to pornography!
I think, pornography does more harm than good, if you ask me. From what I gather, experts have shown that men may become “impatient” or “impersonal” during sex, ignore needed foreplay or day to day flirtations that lead to sex. These are “powerfully connecting moments in couple’s lives” that should not be taken for granted.
For me, it’s either of two things, deep connection and communication or the couple should seek the services of a certified sex therapist.
Did you guys notice that I didn’t even answer my own question?! *Big Eyes*