MY HUSBAND IS DYING AND I’M BEING BLAMED

MY HUSBAND IS DYING AND I’M BEING BLAMED


Hi peeps, it has been a while… I know. I can explain and I will soonest. For now I need you guys to help this writer out. She wants to remain anonymous (which of course I always ensure, with or without asking). 

Her letter goes thus, 

Greetings NHW,

 I got married a year ago, now blessed with a beautiful baby girl (a month old). I never for once enjoyed my marriage, its been from one problem to the other. Now my husband as been diagnosed of lung cancer at the 4th stage. 

My husband’s family have been behaving funny towards me, trying to put blames on me that I brought bad luck (bad luck ke?) He had nothing when we met, now he’s got a good job, car & some other tangible things. 

Please Naijahousewife, I need your prayers, word of advice, ideas on what to do and even experience. I am in my very early 30’s, too young to be a widow. I believe some people have been able survive this, I believe my case won’t be difficult for God to handle. 

*Anticipating your response* thanks and God bless you
I’m so sorry about all you have to endure. All I can say is that you need God’s strength now more than ever. The more you lean on Him, the lighter your cross will be. One thing is sure, God never deserts us at our most vulnerable moments, especially when we call on Him. It’s natural for humans to err, so ignore your relatives who blame you for every misfortune and include them in your prayers. 

I CAN’T BELIEVE PEOPLE STILL DO THIS!

I CAN’T BELIEVE PEOPLE STILL DO THIS!

image

Courtesy : Naij.com

At this time and age, Nigerian people, especially those residing in Lagos, still have this kind of senseless ethnic clashes!… Just doesn’t make sense at all.

Yeah, I’m referring to the Hausa-Yoruba clash that occurred in Mile 12 yesterday. Just because an ‘okada’ rider mistakenly knocked down a pedestrian, who happens to be a Yoruba man (the Almighty Yoruba Man!), the Yorubas residing in that area decided to pounce on the Hausa residents, burning people’s properties.

image

Courtesy: Naij.com

I don’t understand why hoodlums like to take advantage of every situation just so that they exercise their frustrations !! These people shouldn’t blame anyone for their unfortunate lives, except their Parents!

Anyway, I’m writing this just so that we constantly remind ourselves to stop building invisible walls between us based on our culture, be it language, dressing, sexuality, etc. We should learn to interact with people based on who they are, not what they are or where they are from? It’s only a narrow minded loveless human being that would act this way.

#loverules #loveunconditionally

MARRIED BUT STILL A VIRGIN

MARRIED BUT STILL A VIRGIN

Before I go ahead to publish this post, I would like to sincerely apologise to my readers and senders of mails, for posting their mails pretty late. I have an excuse…my hands are just so full! Just keep reading the blog, soon and very soon, *hehehe* I will be unveiling something fantabulous!

Now, the mail I got…

Dear Nhw,

I’ve been married for almost 1year but my husband hasn’t slept with me. He married me a virgin and I’m still a virgin. The very first night on our wedding day, he moved me to my own room.

Each time I go to his room at night, he rages and walks me out. I’ve never caught him with anyone, neither have I seen anything incriminating on him that suggests that he may be having an affair.

I haven’t been able to disclose this to any member of my family but I’ve mentioned it to a close friend and she thinks I should keep ‘mum’ and pray harder.

Please, I’m getting tired of pretending to be happy and besides, my family is wondering why I’m not yet pregnant. Please, what do I do?

*My dear, I don’t envy you at all! I can only imagine what you may be going through. It’s high time you confront him about the issue or you let your family in on what’s going on… You need to break that ‘culture of silence’ that is really affecting the society today.

Really, for how long do you intend to keep up with this charade? If he is gay, he should say and quit wasting your time. If he’s not interested in getting married, he should say and then free you.

My final word on this is that you are not doing yourself self any favour by keeping mute… SPEAK OUT!

DON’T SHOW HIM TOO MUCH LOVE

DON’T SHOW HIM TOO MUCH LOVE

  …lest he takes you for granted.

This is a problem for some or most married and single women. It may be a figment of their imagination that the man they are supposedly in love with or married to might be taking them for granted, simply because they are showing too much affection or love. They may also have been told that they are too needy.

The honest truth is that no woman wants to be in a position where her love is not reciprocated or given in the same proportion as hers.

Even if you think your partner may be taking you for granted, don’t you think there ways to prevent this negative feeling? I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with expressing your feelings as much as you desire to your partner. 

One thing I know for sure is that the woman needs to have the following characteristics in order not to feel that she is being taken for granted:

  1. Great strength of character – she has the ability to stand up for herself when her man crosses boundaries. She knows what she wants without putting herself in a compromising situation.
  2. Presence of mind – she doesn’t get carried away at any point in time. She knows when to call it halts. She’s not one to be swept off her feet just like that…in short, she’s fully conscious!
  3. There’s something always fascinating about her – she has great self esteem and doesn’t appear ‘too nice’!  I’m sorry but I myself, can’t stand ‘Goody-goody two shoes’… I just can’t.
  4. Independent thinkers – And that’s the problem with a lot of women in relationships today…their partners think for them! A lot of women can’t make or end a statement without mentioning what their husband says or does not say. A lot of women echo their husbands’ thoughts or words.
  5. Confidence and  empowerment – she must be seen to be a positive influence in other people’s lives. Don’t be matter occupying space!

Whether you like it or not, these are some of the qualities men find magnetic. It is when you try to play the ‘good wife’ or ‘good girlfriend ‘ that a man would take you for granted.

  

“PRAISE GOD, I THINK I HAVE FOUND THE ONE!”

“PRAISE GOD, I THINK I HAVE FOUND THE ONE!”

Oh my goodness! I’m so excited writing to you guys about what I’m about to tell you…Yessss! I’m in love…so in love! I never ever ‘esperedit’!

You, for a long time now, I had actually given up on the hope of finding love, in fact, I had begun a campaign against love! I didn’t think that word existed, let alone the feelings. Now I believe that God indeed is the Hope for the Hopeless! It’s not like I never believed in God, I just thought that He had not made any arrangement for marriage in my destiny. And to think I so badly needed a baby, one to call my own…okay, that’s the biology clock ticking.

I attended a seminar one time on ‘Fertility’ and how it decreases with age. I left that conference hall feeling mentally ‘suicidal’…whatever that means! Only for me to hear a deep voice right behind me,”Did you come for the conference too?” I rolled my eyes before I turned to see the ‘fool’ talking. I tried smiling but replied with a lot of sarcasm, “Then why would I be in the premises? Do I look like a photographer?!”

“Woah! Easy lady…why so bitter? I only asked a simple question. I know you may be in a bad mood, but at least, my good looks should have done the trick!” he retorted.

That one got me my people, that’s when I had to stop to take a real close look. Let me just have an idea who might be ‘talking’. I looked at this guy from head to toe, and didn’t even know when I burst out laghing! This laugh, I swear was not meant to go on for long, but I laughed so hard, I had tears in my eyes. The poor guy must have been serious when he said he looked good.

“Ehen, you were saying?!” still trying so hard not to laugh. “I like you O, I won’t lie. You are so funny.Just tell me you are kidding sha…as per looking good”.

It took him like a few minutes to gather his composure. I really felt sorry for him. Really, he looked good, as in handsome, but gosh, I don’t know where he shopped or who his lousy wife was…

Before, I knew what hit me peeps, conversation started. Apart from the fact Femi had a warped sense of style, he was the sweetest, funniest and most intelligent guy that I had ever met.

All these times I have not been writing, it’s because I have been spending quality time with him. It’s so easy having a conversation with him…

I’m sorry, I have to go now, Femi is at the door. Yes O, he’s my world. Will feel you guys in later. In the mean time, pray for me, that this lasts!