TEACH YOUR KIDS SELF-CONTROL

TEACH YOUR KIDS SELF-CONTROL

Self-control is one skill that every child needs in order to have a successful future as well as a healthy mental and social development. Unfortunately, a lot of kids are lacking in this skill.

I can’t totally blame it on the children, even though they also have a role to play by virtue of their interactions with peers. I blame this lack of skill on the way we parents bring up our kids, that is, our PARENTING STYLE. Some parents are just too indulgent, while some are unnecessarily authoritarian.

Self-control is a skill that should be taught from cradle to adulthood… Well, not necessarily cradle, 😂, because a child needs to be nurtured! You can start training a child from preschool age, say from 2 years of age. And it starts from little things like:
– potty training
– when to have ice cream or sweets and when not to have.
– when to play with toys and when not to.
– learning not to throw a tantrum when mummy doesn’t buy stuff in a shop.

The list goes on and on. The truth is that as parents, if we don’t put our foot down on the rules and regulations at home, our kids could grow up being excessive in practically every aspect of their lives. They may never know just when too much is just too much
In other words, they may never know when to draw the line on their excesses.

Now, as the kids mature into adolescence, lack of self-control starts to take a new look which includes:
– constant breaking of the law which could land him into prison.
– substance and alcohol abuse
– cheating in exams.
– casual sex which could lead to unplanned and unwanted pregnancy – obesity from excessive amount of food.
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Any way, bottom line of all this gist, is that we need to continue to look for ways in which our kids can learn to control themselves, by hook or by spanking!… Because at the end of the day, their success and good behavior will be our joy and pride.
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7 THINGS I BET YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT YOUR KID

Do you have kids that simply drive you ‘nuts’? Sometimes, it’s really difficult to get through to them…isn’t it?!

Well, after years of studying my kids, I think I am finally beginning to crack the puzzle…and guess what? I don’t need to shout or yell as much again! I see a lot of parents struggle really hard trying to communicate with their kids (remember, communication is supposed to be a 2-way thingy), and can’t help but notice how the kids are simply looking at their parent innocently, wondering “Why all the fuss?!” and then shaking their heads in amazement in their minds. Lol!

I hope the following tips help:

  1. Touch them. Hug them. Even when you are not in the mood…just hug them anyway.
  2. If your kids say to you “I love you”, it won’t kill you to say it back to them. I realized that they only say that when they need you to reassure them of your love, that same love that they feel for you.
  3. Meal times can be a struggle! Tell me about it. You want them to finish their food, then ask them what they would prefer before you make it…that way, both of you are happy. *Some old school of thought suggest that you don’t because you’ll be spoiling them*. Look, at the end of the day, all we want are healthy kids who look forward to meal times.
  4. Pray with your kids, no matter how short that prayer is and then kiss them good night…they absolutely love it. It makes the prayer seem so real!
  5. You can scold kids but don’t yell! Just say what you need to say but firmly…they ain’t deaf! When you yell, the kids focus on the noisy sound coming out of you rather than your words! The whole idea is for the kids to listen to what you have to say…really!
  6. Quit telling your kids about your achievements when you’re scolding or punishing them, because, frankly speaking, they just don’t care (at least at that moment). They are only going to roll their eyes in their head at you! Your achievements will only make sense while you guys are generally relaxing.
  7. Don’t threaten to punish your kids if you aren’t going to ever punish them. Eventually you will sound so lame!

EXERCISING PARENTAL AUTHORITY

newvision.co.ug

God is the author of life, and his goodness is shown also in his authority. All created authority participates in it, and specifically the loving authority of parents.

We know that the exercise of parental authority isn’t always easy, and needs to “get down” to very specific aspects of daily life. We’ve all had the experience in educating children that “if no standard of behavior and rule of life is applied even in small daily matters, the character is not formed and the person will not be ready to face the trials that will come in the future.” Nevertheless, we also know that it is not always easy to find a balance between freedom and discipline.

In fact, many parents have a fear of disciplining, perhaps because they themselves have suffered the negative consequences that can come from imposing things on children. They are afraid, for example, that peace at home will be lost, or that their children will reject something that is good in itself.

The exercise of authority should never be confused with simply imposing our will on another person, or making sure we are obeyed at any cost. Whoever obeys a particular authority shouldn’t do so because of the fear of punishment, but rather because they see in that authority a reference point for knowing what is true and good, even though they may not understand this clearly yet. Authority is closely allied to truth, since it has to represent what is true.

Clearly, children expect their parents to practice in their own lives the values they seek to transmit, and to show them their love. How can parents attain the authority and prestige that their role requires? Authority has a natural foundation and arises spontaneously in the relationship between parents and children. So rather than worrying about how to acquire authority, parents should simply try to maintain it and exercise it well.

This is obvious when children are small; if a family is united, the children will trust their parents more than themselves. Obedience may be hard at times, but it makes sense to them within a context of love and family unity. “My parents want what is good for me; they want me to be happy, and tell me what will help me to truly be so.” Disobedience is seen then as a mistake, a lack of trust and love.

Therefore, to establish their authority, parents don’t need to do anything more than to be truly parents: to show forth the joy and beauty of their own lives, and to make clear, with deeds, that they love their children the way they are. Naturally, this requires spending time at home. Although today’s pace of life can make this difficult, it is important for them to spend time with their children and “to create a family atmosphere that is imbued with love, with piety towards God and concern for others.”

Exercising authority comes down to offering children, right from when they are very young, the tools they will need to grow as persons. The most important thing is to show them good example in one’s own life. Children notice everything their parents do, and tend to imitate them.

Parental authority involves giving the indications necessary to maintain a warm family atmosphere and to help children discover that there is more joy in giving than in receiving.

Part of the parents’ authority entails helping their children understand the values they want to transmit to them, while always respecting their independence and their particular way of being. This requires, above all, that children feel unconditionally loved by their parents and are in tune with them: that they know them and trust them.

Read full article here

ANOTHER ‘INTRUDER’ IN MY BED!!!

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Just so you know… this isn’t getting funnier!

I’m still trying to ‘wean’ my 6 year old off my matrimonial bed (and have failed consistently too),  look who she ‘invites’ to join the ‘party’!…her crazy-looking dolly!!

I told her immediately that I can’t have 2 of her on my bed… She had better choose… It’s either she or her dolly stays. Of course you know already… She chose to stay and kept the dolly out! #TalkAboutFriends

Now, on a more serious note… If anyone has a real concrete plan as to how to get my daughter off my matrimonial bed… Pls share!!  *Abeg*

THIS CHILD MUST BE POSSESSED

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The supposed innocent Rylan

This is exactly why a lot of couples in Africa, more so Nigeria, are scared of adopting children, especially male kids. They never know what kind of genes these kids might have inherited.

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Distraught mum

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Distraught dad

A couple, Kim and ex husband, Ryan, adopted a male child, Rylan, now 7 years old, that is obsessed with knives and killing someone. Rylan’s biological parents both had bipolar disorder (a mental health problem), while his mother was a drug addict. Thank God, the couple have 3 biological kids of their own!

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Rylan with his adoptive mum

The child claims he has this imaginary friend, Bleeder, that tells him to kill his entire family with knives.

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Rylan in his 'possessed' state

The couple noticed this odd behavior when Rylan was just 18 months old. He had held his breath until he passed out. *Yepa!*

When he was just 3 years old, he stabbed knives into watermelons and became more and more violent.
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When Rylan was 6, he locked himself up in the bathroom, used his older brother’s razor and cut the tips of his fingers because he wanted to see them bleed. According to Rylan, Bleeder had asked him to.

His parents have taken him to several hospitals, but to no avail. What scares them now, is the fact that Rylan now hides sharp objects. They found out when they pulled the toilet away from the wall and saw where he hid 2 shave razors, a fork and an ink pen.

My own take on all these story…what have they done for Rylan spiritually! This child needs deliverance. Its quite clear this child is possessed!

On a lighter note, I’m sure if this child was brought to any of our churches in Naija, that devil inside him will flee! *Cough*

And for those of you planning to adopt a child, please go ahead…don’t let this story distract and discourage you.

Source: DailyMail