*Wow!…I like love ‘Cat fights’!*

This is an excerpt from YOUR TANGO, written by Sloane Bradshaw

I recently had the, um, pleasure of meeting my husband’s new girlfriend. Yes. I said “my husband’s new girlfriend.” This is the woman he moved in with immediately after he left me three months ago with a couple of young kids and a part-time job. Keep in mind: I wouldn’t have ever agreed to meet this woman if there weren’t kids involved. (You can’t have your kids off with a total stranger, now can you?) I insisted on a face-to-face and let’s just say, it didn’t go well. In fact, nothing went well with this woman from day one.

So, I thought I’d be the bigger person and reach out to all the “other women” out there and offer some sage advice from the wife of the man they now call their own. (See how nice I am?)

Fine, I’ll admit it: I’m bitter. But so what? Consider this part of my therapy.

Here we go…

1. I’m still married to the guy. So keep your butt out of our business until we can finalize our divorce. And yes, that includes our child visitation schedule, thankyouverymuch.

2. Don’t insist on reading all the texts I send him. It’s stalkery and sad.

3. Stop thinking that I want this loser back. Cuz, nope.

4. Don’t push to be part of his children’s lives, and for God’s sake, don’t make his kids share their precious visitation time with you.

5. I have kids, so, unfortunately, I’m going to have to meet you. When it’s time, don’t show up looking like some kind of model.

6. Or worse, like Pennsatucky from Orange Is The New Black (shudder).

7. Don’t interrupt me when I’m talking to the man I’m still married to (who *newsflash* fathered my children) to interject your two cents. You are not part of our relationship.

8. Don’t expect me to consider your feelings or place them above my own or my children’s. Not even for one minute. Or one second. You don’t matter to me.

9. You slept with my husband and broke up my family. The odds of me ever respecting you are slim to none, especially if you’ve done anything on this list. You are more than welcome to try to earn my respect.

10. But here’s the best advice I can give to someone like you: Don’t be the other woman. Seriously. Otherwise, you’ll get exactly what that type of person deserves: my sh*tty husband. Congratulations.

*Na wah..very deep* Sadly, just like a bad virus, the ‘other’ woman will forever remain an issue. Even if it she doesn’t exist, she still sort of creeps up in the mind of the legal woman!



I’m sorry but I find statements like this suspicious.

If truth be told, when a woman starts to talk like this, it obviously means she’s already in a relationship with a married man, only that she is waiting for that man to just propose!

The former aide to the Imo State Governor, Owelle Rochas Okorocha has declared that she wouldn’t mind being a second wife if the need arises. While speaking on a TV programme, she said: “ If the situation and the person is good, I’ll go for it. I’ve said it before that if ladies don’t stop this nonsense they call ‘one-man-one-wife’, many of them will get to 40 and still remain single. There are more women than men. Go to churches, the number of single ladies in most cases is three times the number of single guys”.

…such impetus! I can’t even blame her…Sebi she is dating Okorocha and now waiting to be second wife. She go wait die! Which man wants double wahala…They would rather have you as a mistress, so that any small misbehaviour, they throw you out!

Good luck to all mistresses waiting to be 2nd, 3rd or 4th wife…That wicked man has just succeeded in wasting your time.


Image credit: Go Graph

I know you are single and searching but please whatever you do, let it not be a married man.

I know you want financial stability or a better still a ready made man, just don’t let it be with a married man.

I know you want need an older person who is mentally and emotionally mature but not with a married man.

These married men will only leave you high and dry. They are not interested in your future. You are an ‘escape route’ for them from the occasional chaos in their family and work life.

They are constantly in their best behaviour, therefore making you see only their ‘good’ side, so to speak.

Let me explain to you what you don’t understand about insisting on this unyielding relationship and why you think you cannot do without him…If you don’t live with somebody 24-7, you can never really see his horrible side. And if it is only the good side you see, it constantly leaves both of you in a constant ‘honeymoon’ phase. You both will almost always gush about yourself, with a continuous flow of hormones, which will keep your heart and ‘punani’ (excuse my french) raging! *If you don’t believe me, ask his wife!*

But lemme just ask you single girls, is it that you don’t have any plan for your future? Is this how you want to live the rest of your life, eating crumbs from another woman’s table? Even if you decide to do a grand ‘appearance’ at his home unannounced, you know what?…he will never marry you! That guy you are dating, and who is married is nothing but a TIME WASTER!

I know there are some of you who have ‘mistakenly’ fallen for married men and your conscience is seriously bugging you, but you don’t know how to break free from this bondage, here are some tips that may help you!

  1. Start exposing your ‘real’ self. Show him your bad sides. Start nagging, complaining…make it a habit exclusively for him!
  2. Start asking for more money, not for you to give your friends a treat, but for you to start saving. Yg youou are planning to leave him, so you need ‘pension’!
  3. Ask Demand that you spend more time with him, even when you know it is not convenient. In fact, call him at inappropriate times…trust me, he will end it with you!
  4. Start making yourself available for other men. Stop declining dates from people who like you.
  5. Why are you settling for less? You deserve more, end the relationship today.

As for you single girls who have sworn to continue this fruitless journey, hate me now and thank me later. Read from someone who is in your shoes now.


Photo credit: Fashion Jot

Dear NHW,

I must say that I was forced to send this article to you following your post on ‘Sugar Babies’. It’s easy for people to throw stones from glass houses. I am sharing my own experience with you.

I have been a ‘Sugar Baby’ (SB) since undergraduate years and I still am. It’s easy for people to judge you until they themselves get into your shoes. I never planned to be a SB. I was just a regular ‘runs’ babe who needed guys to pay my bills. It was easy for me to join the band-wagon of girls into it because asides from being the ‘in thing’ at that time, the older guys were definitely more mature, more settled and knew just how to make a girl happy. Continue reading