WOMEN LOVE TOO HARD

WOMEN LOVE TOO HARD

Now is this a good thing or a bad thing?… To love your man real hard. When I mean ‘hard’, I mean totally and completely with so much abandon. 

The harsh irony of taking the route of loving hard is that your love stands a major chance of not being reciprocated! Because of this ‘bad’ choice, you end up compromising everything, even your happiness, and ultimately your peace of mind. 

So what’s the way forward? Because, if you end up not showing too much love (aka ‘fronting’, aka ‘forming’), and the relationship doesn’t work out, you will definitely be blamed, not the guy! You will be blamed for making the guy look foolish loving you! 

The solution… Flow with the flow. If he shows love, show love. If he holds back, guard your heart with immediate effect! Some relationships thrive better when it’s a ‘Cat and Mouse’sort of thing. 

So, what do you guys think? Should we go ahead and love hard, hoping the guy will take a cue from that? Or should we hold back until the relationship has been thoroughly ‘investigated’? 

MARRIAGE HAS STAGES

MARRIAGE HAS STAGES

It suddenly dawned on me that marriage definitely has stages. If you haven’t stayed long enough in it, you may not understand. The funny thing about these stages is that, they come with their own baggage of emotions, trials and tribulations! And the couples involved are almost totally oblivious of this.

After recently celebrating my 13th wedding anniversary and 20 years of being with my husband, it suddenly hit me that “like joke like joke, I’ve managed to live with this same man and it still feels like we just met! ” Isn’t God awesome? What then will I say about those who have managed to scale through a 30year old or 50year old marriage?!
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This time, all we (my husband and I) wanted to do was just sit and reminisce on our journey so far… Yes O, marriage is a journey and you can never predict what you both will meet on the course of the journey. It is well. *chewing my bitter cola*

According to my small experience,

  • 1st Stage – Romantic Love Stage. In this stage, the love is still ‘shacking’ you both. You can’t seem to get enough of each other! Some couples exhibit a lot of PDA (public display of affection) ย while some show it by getting pregnant every year or even before the year runs out! (Baby Sis, does this ring a bell?! ย *wink*) In short, no faults are usually found in each partner. This stage usually last for a period of 2 to 3 years… If it even gets to the 2 years sef!
  • 2nd Stage – Period of Harsh Reality. Don’t be afraid, because it’s only for a period of time and it’s for those couples who have managed to last in the 1st stage. Suddenly, the scales start to fall from the eyes. You realise that marriage is not what ‘they’ said it is. It’s even worse when children come into the picture, trust me, it takes a while for the couples to adjust to a third party! Or you have an interfering in-law, who has decided to spend some time, if not all the time! The emotions that one experiences during this period is highly trying! Some people use all sorts of methods to conquer this stage and it’s wahala! Prayer, for me is still the key… Try it! But no matter what, you will overcome.
  • 3rd Stage – Period of Transformation and Understanding. Hmm… You have conquered! Congrats! You will begin to see things from a different perspective! You start to apply wisdom in everything! In fact, you choose your ‘battles’ wisely…. It’s not every comment or behavior from your spouse that deserves an answer… Wisdom! *Mama Chi will understand* Now, you can open your mouth and talk, laugh and even give advice… There’s nothing your eyes have not seen or your ears heard. There’s this newly found respect and appreciation for each other in this stage, but the struggle must continue. * I think I might be in this stage, who knows*
  • 4th Stage – Mature Love. Lol! Our parents had this. All the kids are out of the house, usually at this point, leaving old mummy and daddy alone. You share a lot of free time together. You escort each other to the clinic. You hardly quarrel because you completely understand each other. We will all get to this stage in Jesus name. Amen.
  • 5th Stage – Widowhood. I hate this stage but sadly, a spouse has to go… Some spouses die out of loneliness or heartbreak when a partner dies. Na wah o! May we all live long. Amen.

So, now do you believe me when I say marriage has stages?

It’s only the strong and courageous that survive!… And of course, reap the benefits.
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HAPPY NEW MONTH!

HAPPY NEW MONTH!

You guys I’m like…

Every month, just like every day is a special one. Love, faith and hope is what makes the new day month special.

People love and live life for love. The fact that you are in love and you are loved back, keeps you looking forward to the next day… Wondering what tomorrow would bring. Even if you don’t have anyone in particular to love, the love of God and for God, is what keeps us looking forward to pleasing Him ‘tomorrow’.

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Faith is another gift that makes the month special. Faith that you will succeed better at something you love. Faith that you will get a job or a better one. Faith that you will serve God better. Faith that you will be blessed with the fruit of the womb this new month. Faith, my peeps, is believing without doubt the miracles God has in store for us and our loved ones.

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Finally, hope… Hmm, every morning when I wake and my feet touch the ground, I have nothing but hope for a better day, better future, hope for positive results from all my hustles!

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Tell me, how can I not be excited about the new month?! I’m sorry but I’m an Usher, ushering the new month in.

This month, I hope to take my gym classes more seriously (but I’ve always been serious, maybe not regular).

Therefore peeps, receive Anointing of peace in your homes, promotions and success in business, good health and fruit of the womb.

Enjoy the rest of the day, my lovelies! ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•

“PRAISE GOD, I THINK I HAVE FOUND THE ONE!”

“PRAISE GOD, I THINK I HAVE FOUND THE ONE!”

Oh my goodness! I’m so excited writing to you guys about what I’m about to tell you…Yessss! I’m in love…so in love! I never ever ‘esperedit’!

You, for a long time now, I had actually given up on the hope of finding love, in fact, I had begun a campaign against love! I didn’t think that word existed, let alone the feelings. Now I believe that God indeed is the Hope for the Hopeless! It’s not like I never believed in God, I just thought that He had not made any arrangement for marriage in my destiny. And to think I so badly needed a baby, one to call my own…okay, that’s the biology clock ticking.

I attended a seminar one time on ‘Fertility’ and how it decreases with age. I left that conference hall feeling mentally ‘suicidal’…whatever that means! Only for me to hear a deep voice right behind me,”Did you come for the conference too?” I rolled my eyes before I turned to see the ‘fool’ talking. I tried smiling but replied with a lot of sarcasm, “Then why would I be in the premises? Do I look like a photographer?!”

“Woah! Easy lady…why so bitter? I only asked a simple question. I know you may be in a bad mood, but at least, my good looks should have done the trick!” he retorted.

That one got me my people, that’s when I had to stop to take a real close look. Let me just have an idea who might be ‘talking’. I looked at this guy from head to toe, and didn’t even know when I burst out laghing! This laugh, I swear was not meant to go on for long, but I laughed so hard, I had tears in my eyes. The poor guy must have been serious when he said he looked good.

“Ehen, you were saying?!” still trying so hard not to laugh. “I like you O, I won’t lie. You are so funny.Just tell me you are kidding sha…as per looking good”.

It took him like a few minutes to gather his composure. I really felt sorry for him. Really, he looked good, as in handsome, but gosh, I don’t know where he shopped or who his lousy wife was…

Before, I knew what hit me peeps, conversation started. Apart from the fact Femi had a warped sense of style, he was the sweetest, funniest and most intelligent guy that I had ever met.

All these times I have not been writing, it’s because I have been spending quality time with him. It’s so easy having a conversation with him…

I’m sorry, I have to go now, Femi is at the door. Yes O, he’s my world. Will feel you guys in later. In the mean time, pray for me, that this lasts!

THE ART OF GIVING IS SPIRITUAL!

THE ART OF GIVING IS SPIRITUAL!

A lot of people do not know this, but this is the gospel truth. Practicing the art of giving is not an easy task. It requires the special grace of God. It’s like leaving the human body and assuming a spiritual level to give…It’s really not easy, I tell you.

Some people are just so stingy, even to themselves! Some of these people have no shame in asking from people, i just shake my head in awe! How can you expect to receive when you don’t give?! It’s like going to harvest crops in your farm that you never even planted!
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For one to give, you need to be spiritually detached from whatever it is you hold on to like a line. And like I tell people, not giving (for whatever reason you think is authentic), is like limiting God. It’s like saying that because I don’t have much, I doubt if God will be able to provide for me!

Just give, it’s not a hard thing to do! Leave tomorrow for God. You should be happy putting a smile on someone’s face and at the same time I’m not saying you should be ‘stupid’ in your giving! Reach out to those who genuinely need the help, let the spirit be your guide. And do not exhaust your giving on one or two persons!

I know some people who think being ‘stingy’ is cool, but I think their problem is poverty and poverty mentality…not to worry, there’s no problem God can’t solve, even your ‘tight fists’!

You can start practicing the art of giving with me…nothing is too small (even iphone 6s is okay)!

Parting words…
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