Do you have kids that simply drive you ‘nuts’? Sometimes, it’s really difficult to get through to them…isn’t it?!

Well, after years of studying my kids, I think I am finally beginning to crack the puzzle…and guess what? I don’t need to shout or yell as much again! I see a lot of parents struggle really hard trying to communicate with their kids (remember, communication is supposed to be a 2-way thingy), and can’t help but notice how the kids are simply looking at their parent innocently, wondering “Why all the fuss?!” and then shaking their heads in amazement in their minds. Lol!

I hope the following tips help:

  1. Touch them. Hug them. Even when you are not in the mood…just hug them anyway.
  2. If your kids say to you “I love you”, it won’t kill you to say it back to them. I realized that they only say that when they need you to reassure them of your love, that same love that they feel for you.
  3. Meal times can be a struggle! Tell me about it. You want them to finish their food, then ask them what they would prefer before you make it…that way, both of you are happy. *Some old school of thought suggest that you don’t because you’ll be spoiling them*. Look, at the end of the day, all we want are healthy kids who look forward to meal times.
  4. Pray with your kids, no matter how short that prayer is and then kiss them good night…they absolutely love it. It makes the prayer seem so real!
  5. You can scold kids but don’t yell! Just say what you need to say but firmly…they ain’t deaf! When you yell, the kids focus on the noisy sound coming out of you rather than your words! The whole idea is for the kids to listen to what you have to say…really!
  6. Quit telling your kids about your achievements when you’re scolding or punishing them, because, frankly speaking, they just don’t care (at least at that moment). They are only going to roll their eyes in their head at you! Your achievements will only make sense while you guys are generally relaxing.
  7. Don’t threaten to punish your kids if you aren’t going to ever punish them. Eventually you will sound so lame!


Remeber the saying, "As you make your bed, so you must lie in it"...Hie bed sure looks made!

Remeber the saying, “As you make your bed, so you must lie in it”…Hie bed sure looks made!

Getting some kids to study is like moving a mountain! That’s my 11 year old for you.

Not sure if it is me but getting him to understand the importance of studying, not to mention hard, seemed like preaching in swahili! Why are the girls so mature and somewhat responsible? My daughters are simply sensational when it comes to studying…and my son doesn’t care if they are studying right in his face!

Today was quite funny…I was like his worst nightmare!

I followed him bumper-to-bumper, he even had to cry out, “Mummy, please give me a break!!”

“No I won’t, you just have to study! Confine yourself in your room. No TV. No Game. Just your books. You are not to be seen around the TV area. Git?!”, I was practically screaming at the top of my voice…enjoying every moment of torture. He rolled his eyes at me, but who cares…all I want is for him to study.

30 minutes later, he is out and in my face, “Mummy, I am done. Can I go and watch TV now?” You know, he regretted even asking that question. Apart from knowing what the answer would be, he made me start the do-you-know-how-much-your-father-pays-as-your-schoolfees story! That story, along with other talks, could go on like 45minutes! *Hehehe*

But he didn’t let me finish, “Mummy, I am going. In fact, I’m gone”. He disappears for another 45 minutes, I think and is screaming from his room, “Mummy, the walls are closing in on me!”…Can you believe this guy?!

My son is an interesting species, really he is. He doesn’t think one needs to stress himself to get the finest things in life…well, he is wrong!


I have read with enthusiasm the single ladies piece, it is indeed a well thought and comprehensive observation. I agree with her totally, I mean I agree with her 100 percent. But nevertheless, i will submit my defense by doing a critical appraisal taking into cognizance the position of married men as well, focusing on married men in Africa.

I am a married man with three kids, and I have  been married for 8years now. I love and cherish my family and i will do anything to protect them from danger of any sort.

I appeal to every single ladies and also our wives in the house,not to judge us, we are not cursed neither are we covetous, I also do not feel that the problem is the general saying that men are “polygamous in nature”  No. I have examined critically this particular issue that has torn many marriages apart and I am pleased to inform you all on this forum that the problem is neither from the husband nor the single girls, but the so called wives at home that believe that after capturing a mans home, you do not owe the man any further,apart from bearing him kids.

Every thing in this life will age and you can only help by employing renewal measures . Starting from the phone we buy at computer village, we will use for sometime and it depreciates in value and also beauty, it is then advisable to take it to computer village to change its casing thereby mitigating the severe effect of wear and tear. Same applies to building structures, cars, to mention a few. There is perhaps nothing extra ordinary in what these single girls give us, the only difference is concentrated detailing. They are indeed more detailed. If your wife wakes up beside you with a frown, there is every probability that these so called singles would wake up with either a kiss, a smile or a peck, the rationale behind it I do not know, but I am talking from immense experience. Secondly, married African women are just too pugnacious. They most of the time act as if they need brain surgery,or have bombs in their heads, apologies to the married women on this blog, please do not take it personal, I am just speaking my mind from the abundance of my heart.  Thirdly, our African wives are always in a hurry and lazy in bed, but these so called “singles” are very creative and eager to satisfy their man, they create different formulas to solve our “kanjiism” they hack into our systems and make us scream for more.

The previous writer also mentioned that we spend more time with the single girls than our wives. The answer is yes. Fellow readers, please add one plus one and with an unbiased mind judge who the married man would spend more time with. We are not robots, we have blood running through our veins. Variety they say is the spice of life, in as much as no one can eat Eba in the morning, afternoon, and night, adventure during sex, and little sugar is inevitable. It must be a welcome development.

I really do not want to beat about the bush, I will want to go straight to the nitty gritty and leave you all with this question.

Question- If you women are created as men,you are off the market( married)and you meet a single Gurl that makes you dance palongo anytime you are with her, won’t  you pay? Won’t you buy Gucci? Won’t you buy human hair? Lets call a spade a spade, and start to give married men breathing space.

Thank you.
From a concerned African man


peeled beans porridgeI am so excited to share this recipe I stumbled upon on the internet. (Internet sha! There is nothing you will not find)

We know how kids can give one ‘headache’ when it comes to finding the right meal they like…very frustrating! Sometimes, if a mother is not careful, a child may end up eating only a carbohydrate-based food, leaving them malnourished…meanwhile, you have money O!

Protein is an important part of their nutrient and should be included in their daily meal. Here is a recipe, I know kids will enjoy because it’s marshy, just the way they love it…effortless eating! Lol!

Breadfruit (Ukwa) can also be used in place of the peeled beans…so take note!

Ingredients for Peeled Beans Porridge (baby food version)

  • Beans (Brown/Black Eyed): 2 cigar cups | approx. 500g
  • Red Palm Oil: 2 cooking spoons
  • 1 tablespoon ground crayfish
  • Onions – 1 medium sized bulb
  • Pepper & Salt to taste
  • Seasoning – 1 big stock cube
  • Chicken breast: 100g

If you want your Peeled Beans Porridge to taste like Breadfruit Porridge (Ukwa) please use the following ingredients:

  • Beans (Brown/Black Eyed): 2 cigar cups | approx. 500g
  • Red Palm Oil: 2 cooking spoons
  • 1 tablespoon ground crayfish
  • Onions – 1 medium sized bulb
  • Pepper & Salt to taste
  • Seasoning – 1 big stock cube
  • Dry Fish

Notes on the ingredients:

  1. If you want to prepare this recipe for a baby that is less than 1 year old, please do not add salt.
  2. If you don’t feel comfortable adding pepper to your baby’s food, please skip this ingredient.

Before you cook Peeled Beans Porridge

  1. Remove the beans coat.
  2. Chop the onions, grind the crayfish and pepper.
  3. Cut the chicken breast into small pieces.
  4. If you are cooking the breadfruit-taste-alike version, soak the dry fish and separate into small pieces.

Cooking Directions

  1. Put the peeled beans in a pot, pour water up to the same level as the beans and start cooking. If using the dry fish, add it at this time.
  2. Cook till tender adding more water from time to time, if necessary. Always keep the water at the same level as the beans so that when the beans is done, you will not have too much water in the porridge.
  3. When the beans is soft, add the onions, crayfish, pepper and seasoning, stir well.
  4. Add palm oil and cook till the oil changes to deep yellow.
  5. Stir very well, add salt to taste and it is ready to be served. Bear in mind that the porridge may look watery at this time but it gets thicker when it has cooled down.

If you prepared it for your baby, place single feed portions in a flat plate, wrap with a plastic film and freeze.

Once frozen, remove the now solidified portions and place in a ziploc bag or container and put back in the freezer. So when you want to feed your baby, all you need to do is bring one portion out and warm it up in the microwave.

Culled from All Nigerian Recipes

You can also watch the video


Image credit: Buzzfeed

These past 2 days have been difficult ones for me.

Growing up, I thought giving birth to babies was all there was to ‘Parenting’…really I did. I simply thought all I needed to do was to push the baby out …and maybe it would start feeding itself. Having my kids have shown me otherwise…I have seen myself in all elements, in different shades of brown, red, and black (Don’t ask me what those colours indicate…actually my moods).

Kids, as cute as they are when they are babies, you can’t help but dread what they will become as they get older. My kids have managed to bring out the worst and best sides of me. Just when you think you’ve crossed their ‘Terrible Twos’ stage, wait till they get to their ‘Teens’…AAAArrrrrggggghhh! They argue about almost everything, they are very ‘good’ liars at these stage, completely obstinate until they experience that problem that you’ve tried protecting them from!

These past 2 days, they have managed to push me to a limit where I thought out loud, “Lord, I need your strength this minute’, then another second, you are thinking, “Where did I store that psychologist’s number sef!” Just this afternoon, after I left my room to buy stuff from the supermarket, I could have sworn I turned my air-conditioning(AC) unit off. Now my kids are always in the habit of invading my space! I come back shortly, and I meet some of my best shoes (obviously either of my daughters had been here) out of their shelf and my AC on! I didn’t need to ask who got my shoes out but I asked about who turned the AC on and nobody owned up!…Can you believe this? Didn’t know I was breeding liars! I gave them a few minutes to decide among themselves…and still nobody. Well, judgement had to be delivered!…they all got ‘it’. I never felt so good giving ‘it’! (Yes, I know…call me a winch but they deserved it).

For me to get my sanity back a bit, I packed a few things of mine in my mini-travel bag, and told them at the door, “You know what, you guys have succeeded in throwing me out, so I’m leaving you to your father…he needs to start dealing with you guys! I can’t cope anymore, God will understand!  Immediately, they all cried me a river! I had to listen to a barrage of apologies!

Oh well…did they think I would really leave?!

One question though: How do you women with 5, 6, 7, children cope?!

Image credit: Andrea Jang