Behind every successful man, is a prayerful and resilient wife

…ever heard of this saying? It’s actually a cliché which a lot of us never really pondered on. Hmmm…

If there’s nothing I’ve learnt in my 15 years plus of marriage, I’ve learnt that truly the minute a man and a woman have formed a union before God (called Marriage), the woman is automatically bestowed with an immense power to indirectly ‘rule’ her home but the man takes the glory.

In the early years of marriage, we are completely overwhelmed by all the problems that come with marriage : emotional, financial, social and spiritual (all these will be expantiated in future posts), that we completely forget to do one thing…PRAY!

We spend so much time thinking and rethinking all our challenges, so much so we allow the devil fill our minds with the fear of the unknown. During this trying period, this unspeakable fear may push us to think, say or do things that will push us further away from God. And still, we do not PRAY!

A lot of us want our husbands to be and do a lot of things…but it’s all in our heads and not from our hearts. Because if it was truly from our hearts, we would understand that it’s not by our power or might or our husbands’ power.

It is true that our husbands can say and do things that make us not want to pray for them. They can be inconsiderate, uncaring, abusive, even negligent. But we should not let all these bad attitude block our efforts in building a happy home. God has said in His Good Book that whatever we bind on earth will be bound in heaven and whatever we loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

What we need to understand is that the devil doesn’t like union at all, especially one blessed by God! Get off your ‘shego’ (female ego) and submit all manner of bad behavior to God – alcoholism, laziness, bad temper, domestic abuse, infidelity, family negligence, etcetera etcetera.

I found out much later that marriage is not only for enjoyment ; some people start their marriages with trials and tribulations but later end in joy while some start the marriage with ‘over enjoyment’ but experience some turbulence along the journey. Sometimes our hurt and anger for our husbands does not allow our prayers work.

We are the only ones that have the power to release our husbands from whatever bondage they may be in, not even his mother’s prayer or his sister’s prayer is as powerful as ours. While we pray genuinely for our husbands, we also go through spiritual and emotional changes. Our heart becomes right, we start to unburden and become better wives.

Let us PRAY so that we start to reap the benefits. Let us form the habit of looking to God as the source of all we want to see in our in our husbands and in our marriages.

May God help us all in the bid to be happy in our marriages. Amen.



How many of you Wives or fiances have “teething” spouses?! Okay, partners that throw tantrums?! Well, if you don’t…lucky you! Lol!

I’m still trying to figure out why some men find it difficult to say what’s eating them up? Meanwhile, it’s usually easy for a woman to just snuggle up to her man if she needs TLC or simply tell him, “Honey, show me some love. I’m in dire need of some sugar”. Biko, how is this statement difficult to say.

It’s funny how guys react when they need attention… Comes with a lot of drama I tell you.

When you notice that your man is practically complaining about nothing or his just keeps ranting over nothing really or he just got back from work with a disgruntled look, give him some space …it’s really not about you. So don’t crack your head thinking about what you did or didn’t do. Like my girlfriends will say (and I probably agree with) , maybe, just maybe he had a fight with his ‘girlfriend’! That’s not even the time to ask too many ‘jamb’ questions or nag, like some women have PhD in!

Just go about doing the regular things you would do for your hubby. And just when you notice that the mood is quietly returning to normal, you can gently give a nice loving ‘I understand’ or “I love you either way” hug…. I know you too need attention and hug but it’s not about you at that moment.

Voilà! Everything will suddenly become normal again. It’s not that easy to decode a disgruntled husband but with God’s wisdom, a truly patient non-selfish wife can achieve that goal, just for peace sake really.

Have a blessed day ahead.


Dear Married Woman,
These couple of days I have read messages on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and the likes and as much as I have tried to bridle my tongue and not say anything; just let it slide, my emotion has chosen to betray me.

So today I stand in defence of all unjustly stigmatised Single ladies. To you married woman who has taken to the social media to air her grievances, please re-direct your energy into bridling your erring husband.

More than half of the time, these men are the ones who pursue single girls unrelentingly, luring them with the worldly goodies the Good Lord has bequeathed on them. And let me let you know what you’d never hear from your husband, they speak ill of you. Half the time, the reason they are still with you is because of our own conscious effort not to break another girl’s home as we look forward to having ours.

I would share with you my most recent experience. I was introduced to a visually-impaired man who promised to help me secure a job. Before I met him, this man had already overwhelmed me with calls and messages. The only reason I chose to keep my pre-arranged meeting with him was because my sister had been trying extra hard to help me secure a job. So as not to seem “picky” and unwilling to work, I met with him. He told me outrightly that aside from him being married, blind and a Christian what else would stop me from dating him. So I asked if those reasons he gave were not genuine enough. He said they were not. That except if I could come up with something else, then I had no reason but to go out with him.

His calls and messages became incessant after then. I met with him twice after then, out of pity and I tell you he was a little aggressive too. Then his wife stumbled on his messages. I wished I had kept her messages to me. When they first started coming in, I spoke with the husband about them, he dismissed my worries with a laugh. When I could not take them anymore, I called her up. I told her the deal I had with her husband and I assured that she had nothing to worry about. That I swear on the good things that are to come my way that I was not there to break her home.

I knew it was time to give up whatever prospect of securing a job that laid on that path. I do not think I have met anyone as persistent as this man. He would call me unendingly. He told me he had solved his wife’s financial problems and was that not why she married him in the first place. And there I was, I had not even asked him for as much as a phone top-up since we met. He kept reeling out what he had done for her.

Anyway when I could not stick the drama again, I stopped picking his calls. After a while he stopped calling too. Then out of the blues, about three months later, I got a message from the wife cursing me for trying to break her home yet again. It was the Holy Month for me and I just woke up to take my suhoor. It took all the will in me not to respond. But after that period, I forwarded the message to her husband and of course I got no response.

Some couple of months later I received another message from her; filled with curses on me and my family members. I had stopped speaking to the husband for about six months then and here she was accusing me of what I did not know about. I made up my mind I had had enough. So I sent her a “back-to-sender” message. And I threatened to snatch her husband if this continued. Ironically, I received a message from her husband stating “I heard you are reconsidering your position. Am I getting a Yes now?”… Can you imagine?

This is just one of the many I have experienced as it is fairly recent. I assure you, Dear Married woman that I get to hear all about your whims, your shortcomings and why he even chose to marry you. Rather than coming to Twitter, Instagram and the likes to rant, focus your energy on distracting your husband’s attention from the single lady that you see as a threat. Learn from Hilary Clinton. Buy her book “Hard Choices” and learn. Half the time, the real threat is your husband. Get your husband off my back, get a rein and bridle him. I am not the reason his eyes have chosen to rove. I look good for the available single guy. I have got a brand to market, my singleness. Look for yours. I am faithful to CocaCola not even the allurement held by a chilled bottle of Pepsi would make me go near it because it is “inferior” in taste as far as I am concerned. Stop this undue stigmatisation. We Harassed Single Girls have had it up to “here” with your “husband-snatcher” branding franchise.

A pissed single girl

Culled from Linda Ikeji



Lol! A friend posted this on his Facebook wall:

Dear Married Women,

Can any of you explain what happened to all the sexy lingerie you used to wear to bed when you were dating your husband. They seem to have magically disappeared!

Yours faithfully,

Concerned Husband

Lemme answer my own…Children happened! …then left a huge ‘mass’ on the lower part of our abdomen!


Photo credit: InformationNg

Peeps, I just got a mail from one of you guys and she desperately needs your advice.


I am an avid reader of your blog and I need some advice, although, my issue does not have as much drama and suspense as the ones you post!

I am a single lady in my mid 30s, I have spent most of my life in Lagos. I had all my primary, secondary and tertiary education here as well. In short, I am a Lagos girl. Presently, I reside in the Northern part of Nigeria and have been for 4 years now since my transfer from Lagos.

The place I reside is more or less a ‘glorified village’ and a great big challenge for me to settle down in, I only get to see only Mallams. To make matters worse, no social life here, no place to even ‘play’ or relax…it is that bad.

I know you may ask,”why can’t she resign?” I can’t because my job is a Federal one with a pretty good pay, not to mention the job security that comes with it and other perks. As age is not on my side, my fear is that there is also no guarantee of finding my ‘husband’ and I really do not want to be reminded about my ‘singlehood’ by my married friends. Besides, all my efforts to get a transfer has been in vain, due to the pressure from my aged parents for me to resign or get a transfer back to Lagos, where there is at least a flicker of hope.

The funny thing is that even though I am entitled to a 4 week leave, is that enough to start a relationship?

My confusion is this: Should I resign to pursue my dream of getting married or stay on the job?

*My dear, if truth be told…only you can really answer this question because you are the only one who knows which is more important, staying on the job or getting married? I think you should pray more for God’s direction to show you where your husband is, whether in Lagos or in the north with any of those Mallams. LOL! For all you know, maybe your ‘husband’ is in the North! Like seriously.

Being in your mid 30s does not make you a ‘spring chicken’ so I understand your throes and woes. You don’t necessarily have to go to a club or party to find your husband! No, not at all!  Your ‘husband’ can come from anywhere. He may even be in the same office as you are. Pray sha.