I ‘WORK’ FOR MY MAID

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My peeps, even me myself, I’m confused but now I’m convinced that I must be the employee and my maid the employer.

The pictures you see above is a confirmation of what I’m trying to tell you.  It’s only the employee that wakes up before the employer and while the employee is running helmet skelter to get the kids ready for school, the employer will be sleeping.

My maid, the employer doesn’t take instructions again and does what she likes, when she likes. This stupid girl has been warned times without number to always retire to bed early and not stay up watching ‘Africa Magic’, instead, she watches till dawn. The resultant effect is what you see up.

A maid that will have the guts to tell me to my face that she has somewhere ‘important’ to go, if she’s asked to stay home and care for my sick daughter. She even ‘adviced’ me to take my daughter to the office so that when she gets back from her’important’ place, she’ll come get her.

My peeps, I can’t begin to recount how many instances my maid has proven to me that she’s my ‘boss’!

But I have a major shocker for her this coming weekend. She has absolutely no idea of what is to befall her. I’m making her so comfortable and letting her eat all her ‘last suppers’.

I’ll definitely keep you guys posted… Let me continue attending to my ‘oga’!

I HAVE ONE PROBLEM, NOT PROBLEMSES…ABOUT MY MAID!

She sleeps damn too much and too deep…like she’s been bitten by a tsetse fly!
 

Apart from the sleep, no other issue. As if I had foreseen issues, I told her earlier today to always the key from the door anytime she wants to sleep. 

Just got back from work and wanted to get into the house, I rang the bell until it could ring no more. I even knocked until my knuckles hurt! Na wah O! Just when I thought I didn’t remember to take my key and look for other ways to get in…she opens the door…and I see the blasted key!

Definitely, not funny!!

I HOPE THIS IS MY LAST LAP OF FINDING A MAID?!

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ididntdoit.wikia.com

Gosh! I’m trying so hard not to show my excitement… But how can I, when on her first day of work, she’s impressing me already (anyways, they all do).

Oh, I didn’t tell you guys…my Togolese maid resumed today! She’s a stay-in. I’m sort of glad I made the decision of laying ‘mama’ off!

When I told ‘mama’ that I was letting her go, she cried me a river. For a second, I almost got carried away and I almost still kept her. But when I remember the diseases of the elderly (e.g arthritis, hypertension, etc), my decision to let her go heightened. I ended up giving her half of her allowance just to appease her(and so that I don’t see her in my sleep!)… that should wipe her tears for a while.

Her name is Ranti. She’s 24 years old and dark in complexion (Uugh! Feels like I’m writing an essay on my best-friend!)…and just so you know. I’ll probably sneak a picture of her and show you guys. I tried giving her my do’s and don’t ‘s…at least the ones I could remember. I’ve told her that she’s will be wearing a uniform (I watched to see if she would react to that but she nicely accepted… I guess she needs the job badly). I just haven’t figured out what color of checked uniform she will be wearing. I asked my daughter and she was like I was ‘evil’ and why would I want her to wear a uniform?…of course I ignored her and I moved on to ask hubby. He thinks blue check would not be bad…now that’s more like the answer I wanted. For me, I’m thinking she should wear a uniform that will go with the color scheme or theme of the house. What do you guys think?

As for you people who are wondering why my maid has to wear a uniform, I’ve learnt from my mistakes…once or many times bitten, forever shy. The uniform makes them aware that they are here to work and not play. There will be no room for unnecessary ‘fashion parade’, trying to seduce the men in the house…totally a failed mission!

I’ve told her that her uniform will be worn from 6am to 8pm. Sundays will be the only day she gets to wear her clothes…because that will be her off days.

Anyways, so far so good…so help me God.

P.S. I’ve locked all lockables!

I’M CONFUSED AGAIN…INTERVIEWED ANOTHER MAID!

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This time a much younger girl from Togo. She appeared agile and generally happy. She’s ready to even start work tomorrow.

The sad thing is that when I told my present maid about the new development, she wasn’t too happy, so she immediately agreed to stay in.

But you see that’s not my point… I would rather have the younger girl who could practically run all errands with ease.

See now, today, all the things I bought from the market, I left in the trunk of my car, my elderly maid had to go get them. I mean, I was just too tired to even consider her age! I can’t afford to be going through this emotional turmoil… that’s why I need the younger girl.

This younger maid is a TRAINED HAIR DRESSER… do you have an idea what that means for me and my girls?!

What do you guys think?… By fire by force, this older one has to go O! I’ll pay her off, even if it’s half of her allowance she didn’t work for!

MY MAID HAS FINALLY HIT THE LAST NERVE!

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Just got home from work and my lousy maid hasn’t done a thing in the house! I psyched myself to calm down, even took breathing exercises! My plan to sack her heightened more than ever.

I slowly walked to my room excited…you know why. I called her to my room.

“Ma, hope no problem?” She stupidly asked, already guessing there was a problem… Smart girl.
“No o! Not really…maybe for you!” I blurted. Ouch! Chidi, that’s nasty!

I have learnt over time not to just sack them like that, you have to come up with a good story that has to do with your cousin coming over to help or you wanting to train your kids better. All these, so that they don’t start begging you for a second chance. Last time I gave one of my maids the boot, she begged so much I had to take her back a second time. Trust me…’wrongest’ move!

So this time I came up with ‘the cousin’ story. She took it well. At least no begging and her last day is tomorrow. I intend to get my whole 2 weeks from the b@#&h!

Just so she feels alright with the boot, “Have you eaten?” I asked like I cared! Hmmph!

“No Ma. I’m fasting in my church”. Hmmm…that’s a new one. Too good to be true.

I ventured going to the kitchen to serve myself some delicious rice I had cooked earlier but had no time to eat in the morning, only for me to see that someone had boiled almost a full pot of yam…even when there was enough rice to go round for 3 people!

” Lizzy! Who cooked yam?” I asked impatiently.
“It’s me Ma”. She replied, looking guilty.
” I thought you said you were fasting?”.
“I broke at 12 Ma”, she replied.

I just shook my head and hissed. Who the hell does this girl think she’s fooling? Thank God, I won’t be seeing her lazy ass again after tomorrow.

And so my people…that’s how Lizzy, the educated maid hit my last nerve. Help me thank God.

Learn from my mistake… for being desperate for a maid!!