So my older kids got fed up of the usual ‘ ₦1,500 per week’ pocket money and asked for a raise! And I’m like “Really?! You guys have to work for it o!”

My kids look at me like what in the world is she talking about, “It’s your job to take care of us”.

For as long as I can remember, my kids practically drive me bunkers trying to get them to do even the simplest of all chores! Now this was a golden opportunity to monetize each chore as long as they were properly done. *Hehehe

My son wants to drive my car but is not ready to wash the car like he owns it (who does that?!); my daughter wimps each time she has to tidy the kitchen (but she does it well anyways, it’s just the wimping that gets to me)…Amma relax ‘cos I see a lot of good coming out of these.

So I gather my brood and practically give them a lecture on the need to get rid of the ‘Entitlement Syndrome’ as well as the importance of being self-reliant. They eventually agreed to ₦200 per chore. But the chore has to be carried out properly. Failure to comply, the sum of ₦100 will be deducted. ‘Shakena!’

For some time now, motherhood has become more fulfilling and quite interesting, especially ever since I discovered the key to demystifying my kids!

So, my take on getting your kids to be more responsible is to first of all, understand your kids, understand what will definitely get their attention and what will most definitely not, know the different parenting styles (check here) and choose the one that will do the ‘trick’

So help us God. Amen



The truth is that on the long run, you will eventually rip the benefits. 

I say this because, my 11 year old daughter is a living proof. I thank God I took the initiative to start training her early enough, say age of 7. Some of you may ask, “isn’t that too early?” My answer, “No”.

I guess my kids showed they were ready enough when I observed they were always having blind arguments, and speaking all sorts of big big English…and I’m like,”if these kids had house chores to do, where will they find time to be arguing? ”

I started with my daughter, being a girl( I know I shouldn’t be doing gender discrimination, but let’s be real, this Nigeria). I put her in charge of tidying the kitchen for the next one week, after which she would alternate with her older brother ( I knew that one would frustrate me but anyhow sha). Check out the grumbling, or the fact that she would leave the kitchen in a worse state…but I refused to give up. After I have crosschecked her job, I could and would make her do it all over again, up to 6 times. In no time, she learnt to tidy the kitchen well. 

Another thing, most of us (mothers) do is that we tend to ignore training kids just because we have a maid that we pay to do all the housechores. Thank God, I didn’t get carried away with that…my daughter, my kids actually, still got their fair share of house work. 

Fast forward 4 years later, it suddenly becomes part of her to keep the kitchen tidy, sweeping and mopping inclusive. I’ve caught her on several occasions now, handling the kitchen without being told. I’ve even enquired from her, “Babe, is everything okay? Why this sudden change? ”  Her reply, “there’s nothing there. Or shouldn’t I clean again?”

There’s something there o! I’m just happy, someone is fast becoming independent. 

My advice to fellow mothers, don’t give up on training your kids to be self-reliant. They will grumble, they will even try to frustrate you…don’t just relent. Even if you have a house full of domestic staff, they are your kids, so get them involved in house chores. Don’t spend all your energy training other people’s kids, they will come and go. 



Not funny anymore…the hustle doesn’t get any better, you know?

Writing is my passion and forever will be, but my daily activities which are my obligations, deny me the pleasure of basking in it. It’s becoming a pathetic situation, I might just cry me a river!

Now, the weekend is just a few hours away, why am I not excited? I’ll tell you…because the weekend will probably not be different from any other day! What’s the point of having a weekend, when you can’t totally enjoy it?!

Everyday, I try to restrategize on how I can be consistent with the blog but it’s so so difficult, because I have primary duties which really can’t be secondary. So how can you guys help me sustain my dreams…ideas are very welcome.

But you know what?…that won’t stop me from wishing you guys a very Happy Thursday! And I promise you guys that I will keep up the struggle of constantly informing and entertaining you. You can’t imagine the back log of mails…hehehe!

Stay blessed.



Yes, I did…I maximised the use of my kids today…absolutely no apologies!

If one is not careful, the way kids are raised these days, we as parents could give them a wrong impression of how life really is. As you know, I have an 11 year old, 9 year old and 6 year old (my LAST baby!), and they speak a lot of ‘big’ English…I just thought to myself, “Why don’t I get these kids to do some house-chores?!”

They do house-chores quite alright, but it’s not as consistent as I want it to be done. So, anytime I call on them to do some work, they grumble. My rule is that, whoever grumbles the most, does the most work! But, trust my son to still grumble…Therefore, I chose to confine him ‘permanently’ in the kitchen! I won’t lie it was fun watching him grumble and doing the dishes!

My point is this, parents shouldn’t underestimate the strength of their children. In as much as they can speak a lot of English and argue on top of it, they can do housework.

You should have seen my kids at work yesterday …While the first was busy in the kitchen, the second was tidying the living room and the last was sorting the laundry. The household sure looked busy!

The fun part of it, was actually teasing them by giving them names!…
– if my son doesn’t do his chores well, we change his name from Gerald to Geraldine. That’s if he doesn’t do his work well
– then as for my daughter, we change her name from Daniela to Daniel.
– as for my baby, not yet but we let her know we could still change her name from Gabriela to Gabriel *hehehe*

Kai! Boys are lazy sha! Do you know my son cried because he was doing dishes, so he left me no choice other than to address him as “Geraldine”! Lol!

Anyway, at the end of the day, my kids helped put the house together, even when some cried me a river!


Photo credit: iol

Who agrees with this? Men and women, speak up or forever hold your peace!

According to the article published in PUNCH today,

 “…husbands who do chores such as cooking, washing the dishes, doing laundry or other traditionally female forms of housework, instead of sticking to ‘manly chores’ like cutting the hedge and mowing the lawn, have better sex life and more satisfaction in the bedroom.

Beyond the better sex, the study shows that couples who split housework fairly are the happiest between the sheets; they are the most satisfied with their sex lives, and express the highest level of sexual intimacy and satisfaction. In other words, dish soap makes a great lubricant.”

The explanation given was that,

“Many men are blind to the connection between how little housecleaning he does and how she feels about him. If a woman feels like a servant in the relationship, that will affect the more intimate and fragile parts of the relationship. Being the sole person in a marriage to clean the toilet and scrub the floors is definitely not interesting.

“When the woman feels more respected in the relationship, she in turn gives more to her mate and the relationship prospers. The result is a more successful, happier marriage, which may in turn yield happier children.

“The message you send your wife when you do so little around the house is a lack of respect for her. Perhaps resolving this major marital issue means there is less conflict at home, so the man experiences less stress over the years, enhancing his marital happiness.”

According to Prof. Toba Elegbeleye, who threw more light on the issue,

“I want to believe that any man who offers to undertake house chores does it because he loves his wife. So, it sounds quite logical if the relationship is a happy one. He tends to stay at home longer and the wife, in a way, tends to love him better and there is the possibility that tactile intimacy, touching each other, is more frequent than otherwise, and there is nothing that promotes sexual interaction than nearness and proximity.

“If a woman sees her husband helping out, it makes the woman feel great and loved, which gets her relaxed, and the best of sexual interaction undertakings occurs when the two of them are relaxed, having certain degree of happiness towards each other.”

However, he wondered how many men would have the luxury of coming back from the office and going back home to do house chores, noting that ego, which is another differing factor, is a cultural thing.

“The ego that has to do with sharing household chores is connected to our cultural background, whereas a man interprets his role in the home as a monarch, which is more of our cultural upbringing, rather than what ought to be. Where the couple do not have the luxury of hiring house helps, there is nothing bad in sharing out the chores. Even when mothers or fathers-in-law react to such, they are reacting in support of the culture not necessarily to the fact of the case,”

I really do not understand why it is a big deal for Nigerian husbands to help their wives( using my husband as an example), sometimes I wonder if it is ‘sheer wickedness’ or ‘complete unadulterated laziness’!

What you men do not understand is that helping your wives run errands or doing house chores, makes our marriage super sexy and romantic! If you like, don’t change…it’s your loss, you just have to wait until we are ‘sexually’ ready for you!

Photo credit: Daily Mail