Self-control is one skill that every child needs in order to have a successful future as well as a healthy mental and social development. Unfortunately, a lot of kids are lacking in this skill.

I can’t totally blame it on the children, even though they also have a role to play by virtue of their interactions with peers. I blame this lack of skill on the way we parents bring up our kids, that is, our PARENTING STYLE. Some parents are just too indulgent, while some are unnecessarily authoritarian.

Self-control is a skill that should be taught from cradle to adulthood… Well, not necessarily cradle, 😂, because a child needs to be nurtured! You can start training a child from preschool age, say from 2 years of age. And it starts from little things like:
– potty training
– when to have ice cream or sweets and when not to have.
– when to play with toys and when not to.
– learning not to throw a tantrum when mummy doesn’t buy stuff in a shop.

The list goes on and on. The truth is that as parents, if we don’t put our foot down on the rules and regulations at home, our kids could grow up being excessive in practically every aspect of their lives. They may never know just when too much is just too much
In other words, they may never know when to draw the line on their excesses.

Now, as the kids mature into adolescence, lack of self-control starts to take a new look which includes:
– constant breaking of the law which could land him into prison.
– substance and alcohol abuse
– cheating in exams.
– casual sex which could lead to unplanned and unwanted pregnancy – obesity from excessive amount of food.

Any way, bottom line of all this gist, is that we need to continue to look for ways in which our kids can learn to control themselves, by hook or by spanking!… Because at the end of the day, their success and good behavior will be our joy and pride.


I feel like…

My kids have been trying my patience for some time now…and trust me, I’ve been patient!

My question is this(I’m sure I have been asking this same question for some time now), “Why do Nigerian kids obey when they sight ‘The Whip’?” I try so hard not to beckon on my ‘assistant’, but today, I worked with ‘her’!

My kids are in the habit of:

  1. Watching TV as soon as they get up (I’ve told them that prayer should be the first thing). If we (hubby and I) are not ready, they can do other things apart from watching TV.
  2. Not doing their home-works until the night before school!
  3. Not washing their plates after a meal…who are they leaving the plates for na?!
  4. Not ever making their beds or their room…for who na?

Did I forget to mention that they find it hard to flush the toilets after every use…REALLY?!

They are really nice and cool kids O, but mba! They sure make me go to hell heaven and back before they do what they are supposed to!

So this is my DECISION…NO TV and more of…you know!



God is the author of life, and his goodness is shown also in his authority. All created authority participates in it, and specifically the loving authority of parents.

We know that the exercise of parental authority isn’t always easy, and needs to “get down” to very specific aspects of daily life. We’ve all had the experience in educating children that “if no standard of behavior and rule of life is applied even in small daily matters, the character is not formed and the person will not be ready to face the trials that will come in the future.” Nevertheless, we also know that it is not always easy to find a balance between freedom and discipline.

In fact, many parents have a fear of disciplining, perhaps because they themselves have suffered the negative consequences that can come from imposing things on children. They are afraid, for example, that peace at home will be lost, or that their children will reject something that is good in itself.

The exercise of authority should never be confused with simply imposing our will on another person, or making sure we are obeyed at any cost. Whoever obeys a particular authority shouldn’t do so because of the fear of punishment, but rather because they see in that authority a reference point for knowing what is true and good, even though they may not understand this clearly yet. Authority is closely allied to truth, since it has to represent what is true.

Clearly, children expect their parents to practice in their own lives the values they seek to transmit, and to show them their love. How can parents attain the authority and prestige that their role requires? Authority has a natural foundation and arises spontaneously in the relationship between parents and children. So rather than worrying about how to acquire authority, parents should simply try to maintain it and exercise it well.

This is obvious when children are small; if a family is united, the children will trust their parents more than themselves. Obedience may be hard at times, but it makes sense to them within a context of love and family unity. “My parents want what is good for me; they want me to be happy, and tell me what will help me to truly be so.” Disobedience is seen then as a mistake, a lack of trust and love.

Therefore, to establish their authority, parents don’t need to do anything more than to be truly parents: to show forth the joy and beauty of their own lives, and to make clear, with deeds, that they love their children the way they are. Naturally, this requires spending time at home. Although today’s pace of life can make this difficult, it is important for them to spend time with their children and “to create a family atmosphere that is imbued with love, with piety towards God and concern for others.”

Exercising authority comes down to offering children, right from when they are very young, the tools they will need to grow as persons. The most important thing is to show them good example in one’s own life. Children notice everything their parents do, and tend to imitate them.

Parental authority involves giving the indications necessary to maintain a warm family atmosphere and to help children discover that there is more joy in giving than in receiving.

Part of the parents’ authority entails helping their children understand the values they want to transmit to them, while always respecting their independence and their particular way of being. This requires, above all, that children feel unconditionally loved by their parents and are in tune with them: that they know them and trust them.

Read full article here



My son’s words exactly! Like seriously?!

I asked him to explain himself. He says the only time I’m ever calm is when I’m sleeping. Usually on a good day, I keep the house too hot for them, practically saying “No” to all their requests and not to mention the shouting and scolding. I just shook my head in bewilderment and told him he just described a ‘mad woman let loose’!

He said today was eerily different…it started with him requesting for a bar of chocolate early in the morning, knowing the consequences that would follow the request. While he was squeezing his eyes shut, waiting for the bouts of insults that would follow, to his shocking amazement, he heard a soft “Yes”. Again, my little girl who has a personal electronic tablet, dared to ask for my ipad mini, which I don’t usually give even if my arm was twisted, got it without war of words. As far as my son was concerned, these unusual events were quite uncommon.

It’s funny how kids perceive their parents’ behaviour. Just as we judge them, they judge us. And to think I’ve been priding myself for being “The Quintessential Modern Parent”! Besides, why shouldn’t I be calm?!…after 1 week of undisturbed sleep, no major cooking, no serious shopping for groceries!

If truth be told..



Image credit: Kendrive Blog

The police have arraigned one Edith Bidokwu for allegedly defrauding a lawyer, who she claimed was the father of her two children.

It was learnt that the woman and the lawyer, Obaduemu Bright, had dated each other for 10 years until recently when a DNA test showed the two children she claimed to have had for him were not his.

PUNCH Metro gathered that Edith, who was arraigned alongside her 54-year-old mother, Mrs. Rita Bitokwu, had allegedly duped the lawyer to the tune of N1m under the guise of bringing up the children.

Our correspondent learnt that Edith, who lives on Ibitoye Street, Ajegunle, threatened to inform the lawyer’s wife of the relationship whenever he was unwilling to pay her.

Meanwhile, Bright was said to be aware that the woman was going out with other men, but could not raise the alarm to avoid trouble.

He, however, summoned up courage and challenged her on the legitimacy of the children on September 24, 2014 after he could not raise more than N170,000 of the rent which Edith and her mother allegedly requested from him.

He was said to have taken the children to a hospital where a DNA test reportedly revealed he was not their biological father.

Culled from PUNCH

*Some women are just plain evil! Most men have wised up now! Any lady walking up to you and claiming that you are the father of their child or children, relax…you can always do a DNA check!*