Dear NHW,

Please help me out of this dilemma O!

I’m presently dating a 30 year old journalist whom I met a little over a year ago. Somehow, it hadn’t occurred to me that he had fully moved in with me. Because it started gradually with weekends only, then few times in a week, then practically everyday he would sleep over.

Time to pay the rent suddenly opened my eyes to the harsh reality that he’s been living with me for a year now. So I nicely asked if he could help with paying more than half of the rent, not even all, but the answer I got from him was not satisfactory. He simply said I was insulting him and that did I realise that he could afford to pay the whole rent. Me in my stupidity, I’ve been waiting for 2 weeks now for him to give the rent money, but I meet voice mail!

Ever since, he has been eating and sleeping comfortably, without mentioning the rent money. I’m feel somehow bringing up the issue because I’m not used to asking men for money.

Please, what do you advise I do?

Dear Writer,

I’m sorry to say this but you are not being smart about this. If you don’t bring up the issue about the rent, this boyfriend of yours will forever take you for granted! Insist on him contributing at least half of the rent na!

I bet he doesn’t even give you money for feeding him?! Have you even seen his own place, that is if he has a place of his? See how he craftily moved in, probably deceiving you with his charms! You better wake up my dear. Things you cannot tolerate in courtship, you will definitely hate in marriage, because it only gets worse.

No need to be confrontational, just address the issue before anything else is talked about. Shikena!


Her Campus

Guys, this one is for you. As much as I care about the woman folk, I also care about you. There are many good guys out there who do not deserve what they get from some ladies.

It hurts me when I see ladies who want to settle down with rich guys but don’t want to be part of the success story. They disappear when the going is tough and the road extremely rough, and appear again when they see things are looking very juicy. And those that are lucky in making a comeback, want to dictate to the man how to spend his money…Mscheew!

Why do you ladies want to reap where you did not sow? Why do you want to eat your cake and have it?…because some of you who want the good life badly and can’t afford to struggle with your man, keep another man by the side who basically attends to your materialistic whims! And when you are caught dead on your tracks, you start begging…begging for what nah? Begging that he should take you back for not having faith in him? Begging that he should forgive you for not sweating it out with him? Begging that he should take you back for not being his support system? Begging for what exactly?!

You, who wants to comeback into the life of the man you abandoned, never believed in his dreams. You never had kind words for him, rather you washed him everyday with curses, comparing him to his fellow man. You are still the same girl that dated his friend because that one had a lot of money to throw around. You are the very same person that never failed to remind him of his impoverished state. You, are still the same person that said he would never make it in life and that you felt sorry for any woman who ended up with him, and then you walked out of his life.

Remember when he begged and begged you for another chance to prove his love for you, as well as his worth. Remember all the insults he had to endure from your family and friends, and you sat there not defending him….Now you want to comeback!

Let me tell you a true-life story about Akeem…

Akeem was an orphaned mechanic who had no-one else in the world except his girlfriend, Sarah. Akeem and Sarah had been dating since his secondary school days. They really loved each other or so we thought.

When Akeem’s parents died in an autocrash, his future started looking bleak. Sarah knew she wouldn’t be able to stay in a relationship such as that. So while Sarah continued furthering her education, Akeem erolled as an apprentice mechanic in a garage. The relationship slowly became strained since Sarah had acquired a new improved status while Akeem’s seemed to be declining. They finally broke up on his birthday right in front of all their friends…very humiliating.

One day, a white man came to Nigeria and needed his car fixed, he was tired of being duped by a lot of mechanics. Everybody knew Akeem, he was a very responsible and honest guy, and so he was highly recommended. Akeem got the job done and the white man was so pleased, that he said he was going to reward him. We did not take the gist seriously until one day we heard that Akeem had travelled to Germany to further his education. The white man had kept his promise.

Eight years later, Akeem came back as an Engineer and opened an Auto-mechanic Workshop which till date is doing so well. I heard that Sarah has been making a spectacle of herself in trying to comeback into his life.

I cancel every ‘Sarah’ in your life today, if you are a guy reading this. The same goes for you girls, who are trying to destroy another woman’s marriage because the man is rich.

Please if you are trying to be a ‘Sarah’ but you love your man, ask God to intervene in your matter and in that of your fiance. Ask God to grant you patience to reap what you are sowing. Ask God to allow you to be used as a support system for your partner.

…because if you dare leave, forget about coming back! I will personally pray against it.


Photo credit: NYUFinanceSociety

As much as a wife trusts God and has faith in Him, she really doesn’t have control over her mood when she’s broke!
It’s quite scary when you know that your very demanding kids may need stuff at any point in time and you just can’t give it to them. When you even try to explain, they choose not to understand your ‘gibberish’!
I still don’t understand why kids’ demand rate is higher when you are ‘financially raped flat’!
Yesterday, while I was picking my kids from school, my first daughter gave a list of her ‘Mummy, I want’s and I simply asked her “Why don’t you just get it that I AM BROKE?!”
My last daughter feeling sorry for her older sister retorted, “Mummy, why do you say that all the time? You can rob a bank! Parents do that for their kids!”
Now, I hope for her sake, that was a joke right?!…it had to be. Anyway, I chose to ignore her.


Much later that day, I was suddenly all chatty chatty and generally laughing at my son’s dry jokes (yeah, they can be that dry! I’ve told him to work on them)…he suddenly looks at me and says, “Mummy, you’re acting all weird! Lemme guess…You have seen money!”

And I am like…Waaat? This guy is sooo right!
…I got an alert that said ‘MONEY’…Yay!!