HOW CAN I GET MY BABY’S DADDY BACK?

Image credit: Mrwgifs

Good evening NHW,

I am so sad, infact very depressed. I lost my baby’s daddy. When I say lost, not that he died, he broke up with me. We have never been married. My story is a long and pathetic one. All I can say is that I was misled.

After my husband died 4years into our marriage, I met a lecturer in one of these prestigious universities. I am a secretary in the department. I had really learnt to keep to myself but the man’s kindness to me knew no bounds. He became my confidante and my best friend. This relationship continued for like 3 years until we took it to another level, we became lovers.

I became pregnant for him but he didn’t want the baby. I insisted on keeping the baby and losing him. I have never known what it felt like being a mother or ever being pregnant. I was never even pregnant for my late husband. So when this my friend heard all my lamentations, he finally gave in. Through out my pregnancy and my delivery (I had a baby girl), he showered me with all sorts of gift, he even moved me to a better apartment and got me a car. Those were the days…

My daughter soon turned two, and suddenly, I started craving for more than what I was getting, forgetting that my daughter’s father was a happily married man. I confided not in my friends or colleagues but with one of the office assistants. I felt my secret would be safe with her than my colleagues because no one really knew about my secret affair with my ‘Oga’. The office assistant fast became my friend and advisor. She saw how badly I craved to be recognised as a ‘wife’ and so advised me to reveal myself to my lover’s wife and that I should pay the man a visit in his home unannounced with my daughter. Is this not the devil’s handwork.

I did exactly as she said. O NHW, the results were catastrophic  fatal! I paid the man a visit on a Saturday morning with my daughter properly dressed…his wife was the one that opened the door for me. She instantly knew something was amiss and beckoned her husband. He was so shocked to see me. The wife started making trouble and really it was not my intention to cause problems but the way she started on me, I let the cat out of the bag and a fight erupted. My baby’s father had me thrown out, even with his daughter and warned me never to step foot in his home.

The following Monday at work, he came really early and called me into his office…I knew what he wanted to say or so I thought. He passed his judgement, he wanted nothing to do with me or my daughter and that he was going to cut all ties from us. That, henceforth, I would be the one paying my bills even for the child, since I had done my worst.

Please help me, what can I do to make him change his mind? The suffering is too much. What can I say to make him forgive me?

*Madam, I am sorry but you are crying over spilt milk! How can you ever think you will take his wife’s place? He gave you an inch and you took a mile. It’s bad enough you had an affair with this happily married man, you now wanted to invade his home! You can see that God pass women like you. Well, you just have to reap what you have sown.There are a lot of things you can do to help yourself other than relying on other women’s husband for survival…buying and selling, hairdressing, events planning, etc.Na wah, these our husbands sef!*

My verdict?!… 

SINGLE WOMAN GETS REPLY FROM PISSED MARRIED WOMAN!

If you are just joining the ‘saga’ between the single woman and married woman for the first time, read here.

Dear spinster (Aka pissed single girl),
If you truly value marriage and plan to have yours one day then the excuse that you were lured or enticed to follow a married man is not an excuse. The fact is that you have no morals or respect for your body or even the marriage you so desire to have one day.
I am not an IG or twitter or even whatever social media platform person and do not encourage these married ladies to use it let alone pass any silly message through it to anyone be it single or married.

Marriage is not a joke so do not come to the public and put your marriage under unnecessary scrutiny. And yes like the single lady said deal with your man and stop blaming anyone.
Having said that, I see where the ladies who lamented are coming from – truth be told men will not date themselves (well, unless he swings both ways!!!) so if we women would say no to the advancement of these so called horny married men (Aka Oke mkpi) the world would be a better place. If girls would say an emphatic NO when a married guy chases her no matter the splendor he showers on her and then the next girl and then the next….. of course they would get the message. But noooo…. In fact girls are even the ones that chase after the men themselves rolling their booties and tits all around the place in nicely packaged skirts and blouses, seeking the man’s attention just because he is what you would have liked in a husband. Yes you find him attractive but he is taken and it’s your loss… please move on and find the young single guy who has the qualities the married man you admire has (though with much less money) invest in him i.e. time and encouragement and hopefully he would soon sprout and become the next best thing that you would also be proud of.

Comot eye for person own (he says his wife is lazy, she’s fat, he has invested this and that on her already) my dear don’t you already know that a man would say whatever it takes to get in your panties? Why are you being ignorant? He’s a man with a daily erection and roaming eyes. Don’t fool yourself he’s probably not chasing you alone, he just needs a corner marking!!! Don’t feel special cos he has the money enough to squander on you and 4 other girls. He’s trying his luck anyone wey gel he go take or two sef. The more the merrier, the happier his manhood. Period!!

The problem we women have which is what the IG & twitter marries ladies were trying to say (through a wrong means of course) is that women are our own worst enemy. We are bitter at other women’s success, we envy what other woman have a wish to destroy it is given a chance.

Women…… lets change our ways, be proud of your fellow woman and celebrate her, admire rather than envy her, pray for her, wish her well and guess what? Yours will come. Having said that, married women I beg you in God’s name do your best to look good. It is not a sin to look “HOT” yes I dare say it look “HOT” that is what these young girls have over you. They look hot and sexy… it’s not just looking pretty, come out looking sexy and let other men check you out as you walk by. Your stupid husband will notice and sit up. He knows and sees that you are not so desirable and even if he messes up you no dey go anywhere because market done fall press you.

I am married and have been for almost 10 years but when I walk into a room, men, boys check me out. I have been with the same man for over 14 years now and haven’t been with anyone else and don’t intend to. But I tell you I enjoy the stares I get cause even my hubby dey fear to let me waka go toilet alone… also please and please lose weight, do sit ups stop the silly excuses oh I done have time, the kids this, the kids that ,, bla bla bla… no be you first born pikin. I have got kids myself and still try to find the time to look good.

“Married woman”

Culled from Linda Ikeji

FRESH FIGHT…SINGLE WOMAN VS MARRIED WOMAN

Dear Married Woman,
These couple of days I have read messages on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and the likes and as much as I have tried to bridle my tongue and not say anything; just let it slide, my emotion has chosen to betray me.

So today I stand in defence of all unjustly stigmatised Single ladies. To you married woman who has taken to the social media to air her grievances, please re-direct your energy into bridling your erring husband.

More than half of the time, these men are the ones who pursue single girls unrelentingly, luring them with the worldly goodies the Good Lord has bequeathed on them. And let me let you know what you’d never hear from your husband, they speak ill of you. Half the time, the reason they are still with you is because of our own conscious effort not to break another girl’s home as we look forward to having ours.

I would share with you my most recent experience. I was introduced to a visually-impaired man who promised to help me secure a job. Before I met him, this man had already overwhelmed me with calls and messages. The only reason I chose to keep my pre-arranged meeting with him was because my sister had been trying extra hard to help me secure a job. So as not to seem “picky” and unwilling to work, I met with him. He told me outrightly that aside from him being married, blind and a Christian what else would stop me from dating him. So I asked if those reasons he gave were not genuine enough. He said they were not. That except if I could come up with something else, then I had no reason but to go out with him.

His calls and messages became incessant after then. I met with him twice after then, out of pity and I tell you he was a little aggressive too. Then his wife stumbled on his messages. I wished I had kept her messages to me. When they first started coming in, I spoke with the husband about them, he dismissed my worries with a laugh. When I could not take them anymore, I called her up. I told her the deal I had with her husband and I assured that she had nothing to worry about. That I swear on the good things that are to come my way that I was not there to break her home.

I knew it was time to give up whatever prospect of securing a job that laid on that path. I do not think I have met anyone as persistent as this man. He would call me unendingly. He told me he had solved his wife’s financial problems and was that not why she married him in the first place. And there I was, I had not even asked him for as much as a phone top-up since we met. He kept reeling out what he had done for her.

Anyway when I could not stick the drama again, I stopped picking his calls. After a while he stopped calling too. Then out of the blues, about three months later, I got a message from the wife cursing me for trying to break her home yet again. It was the Holy Month for me and I just woke up to take my suhoor. It took all the will in me not to respond. But after that period, I forwarded the message to her husband and of course I got no response.

Some couple of months later I received another message from her; filled with curses on me and my family members. I had stopped speaking to the husband for about six months then and here she was accusing me of what I did not know about. I made up my mind I had had enough. So I sent her a “back-to-sender” message. And I threatened to snatch her husband if this continued. Ironically, I received a message from her husband stating “I heard you are reconsidering your position. Am I getting a Yes now?”… Can you imagine?

This is just one of the many I have experienced as it is fairly recent. I assure you, Dear Married woman that I get to hear all about your whims, your shortcomings and why he even chose to marry you. Rather than coming to Twitter, Instagram and the likes to rant, focus your energy on distracting your husband’s attention from the single lady that you see as a threat. Learn from Hilary Clinton. Buy her book “Hard Choices” and learn. Half the time, the real threat is your husband. Get your husband off my back, get a rein and bridle him. I am not the reason his eyes have chosen to rove. I look good for the available single guy. I have got a brand to market, my singleness. Look for yours. I am faithful to CocaCola not even the allurement held by a chilled bottle of Pepsi would make me go near it because it is “inferior” in taste as far as I am concerned. Stop this undue stigmatisation. We Harassed Single Girls have had it up to “here” with your “husband-snatcher” branding franchise.

Yours
A pissed single girl

Culled from Linda Ikeji

DON’T ASSUME YOU HAVE A HAPPY MARRIAGE, UNTIL YOU CROSSCHECK WITH YOUR SPOUSE!

Image credit: Ms PeepGame

And I mean it my people.

You know as a married person, I learn everyday! I learn from everything and everyone I meet everyday.

It’s so easy to assume that you and your spouse are happy in your marriage, just because there is no quarrel or your husband is still providing for the house…in short, there is no storm, it’s been sunny all the way! You may be happy but your spouse might be the aggrieved one and just because he or she is not the talking type, might not give you an inkling that there is a problem. Not until one day, something trivial happens and BOOM!…marriage is over and you are wondering, “What just happened here?!” Don’t let this happen to you!

I met a male client that opened my eyes to reality( whatever! Some of you may argue that my eyes are always open! Na you know!). He came in with a blood pressure of about 230/160 mmHg and after much clerking, I found out that he had a lot of things on his mind, which he tried to brush off. I didn’t let him off the hook so easily..until he gave in.

He is in an extra-marital relationship with another woman for close to 2years now. He wants to end it and at the same time doesn’t want to! He claims he doesn’t want to upset the lady because she makes him happy! Trust me nah, I asked “What is that special thing she does that your wife doesn’t or can’t do?!”
“Ehm, doctor, you won’t understand”, he argued.
“I will understand. Sebi, I be woman and I can learn a lot from what you tell me”, I insisted, hoping he would say.

He finally did. He said his wife takes him for granted in so many areas. For example, after a hard day at work and he gets home, hoping to get a good meal, there will be none and the wife will be giving so many reasons why the food isn’t ready. That pisses him off. Sometimes, he would want to have sex with her, another set of excuses. He got tired and stumbled on this ‘mistress’. The mistress on the other hand calls him everyday before close of work, asking him what he wants to eat and 100% of the time, there is always food waiting for him at her place. Besides, the sex is good.

My point is this, this man’s wife is probably thinking all is well in her marriage, not knowing that one devil is working hard at claiming all she has laboured for. And if she’s not prayerful enough, the marriage might just end abruptly.

Couples really should work hard at this communication thingy.

Photo credit: Masetv

WHEN THE DEVIL DECIDES TO USE YOUR SISTER !(GRAPHIC PICTURES)

This is for those of you who know what I am talking about!

Imagine this…you, being the eldest daughter in the family, decide to bring your ‘little’ sister to come live with you and your family, so that she can actualise her dreams, instead, she spends her time trying to ‘fill’ into your shoes! *Cough* …if you know what I mean.

A friend sent me a link to a story and when I opened it, I was of course shocked!

According to the gist in 360nobs, this girl was caught pants down in a hotel room with her sister’s husband!

Photo credit: 360nobs

Apparently, her older sister had just put to bed, and so her husband decided to look for a ‘similar’ alternative! Lol! Sources say the girl even suggested the affair to the ‘willing’ man, so that he wouldn’t leave for another woman outside. When accosted, the ‘little’ girl said she was only trying to help her sister. *Mscheww*

female student 360nobs

Photo credit: 360nobs

I hope this serves as a lesson to women out there harbouring all sorts of sheeps and lions, all in the name of ‘relatives’, in their homes.