NAH! NO NEW YEAR   RESOLUTIONS FOR ME

NAH! NO NEW YEAR   RESOLUTIONS FOR ME

I’m sorry, but that’s just the honest truth. I’m not going to fool anyone by writing any resolutions…just so that I can give you guys something to read about. I won’t. 

It’s always going to be what it has always been and meant to be: 

  1. More Family, Less Work
  2. More God (I’ll have to stop ‘cheating’on Him)
  3. Keep keeping ‘unborn’ babies away…as the countdown to menopause TRULY begins
  4. That’s pretty much everything! 

So you see why I don’t need New Year resolutions…besides, they are really not new. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEEPS! 

SOMEONE, PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND THIS KIND OF LETTER…

SOMEONE, PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND THIS KIND OF LETTER…

Shocked beyond words


I’ve tried to understand in different languages this worrisome letter. Since I haven’t been able to come up with any reasonable explanation, I’ve decided to share it with you guys…and then you tell me if the writer has spiritual problems following her from the deepest root of her village! 

The letter


How can a fellow woman want sex so bad, she needs her intestines shifted…how?! Are you telling me, that nothing else fills this woman’s thought except an enlarged penis?? 

Woman, whoever you are, you don’t need an enlarged penis, you need deliverance…or peeps, am I missing something hia? 

THIS HAS TO BE LOVE! 

THIS HAS TO BE LOVE! 

So, this morning, some article on tori.ng caught my attention. 

Cho’zyn and his bride to be


Now this guy, Cho’zyn (what a name), shocked people, when he proposed to his girlfriend in public. 

Cho’zyn proposing


My question is: what’s wrong with that? Is it because she’s plus-sized? Or you think plus-sized babes don’t deserve the same amount of love that ‘skinny’ girls get? I don’t just get it! Because, in all honesty, they don’t even know this girl as much as Cho’zyn (I still don’t get this name) does. Thank God, Cho’zyn did the right thing by publicly declaring his love to his woman for the right reasons! 

And in his own words, as expressed on social media…

#SheSaidYes!! Words can’t fully express how much I love you @virtuous.joy! Thank you for your constant love, encouragement, support, motivation, and being my best friend. Thank you for your patience with me and making me feel like the greatest.

At first, when I saw the article and the picture following it, I thought to myself, this must be a Nigerian guy trying to get citizenship from this innocent girl! Then I read that he was based there(whatever that means).

Gist culled from tori.ng

MOTHERS, NEVER GIVE UP ON TRAINING YOUR CHILD

MOTHERS, NEVER GIVE UP ON TRAINING YOUR CHILD

The truth is that on the long run, you will eventually rip the benefits. 

I say this because, my 11 year old daughter is a living proof. I thank God I took the initiative to start training her early enough, say age of 7. Some of you may ask, “isn’t that too early?” My answer, “No”.

I guess my kids showed they were ready enough when I observed they were always having blind arguments, and speaking all sorts of big big English…and I’m like,”if these kids had house chores to do, where will they find time to be arguing? ”

I started with my daughter, being a girl( I know I shouldn’t be doing gender discrimination, but let’s be real, this Nigeria). I put her in charge of tidying the kitchen for the next one week, after which she would alternate with her older brother ( I knew that one would frustrate me but anyhow sha). Check out the grumbling, or the fact that she would leave the kitchen in a worse state…but I refused to give up. After I have crosschecked her job, I could and would make her do it all over again, up to 6 times. In no time, she learnt to tidy the kitchen well. 

Another thing, most of us (mothers) do is that we tend to ignore training kids just because we have a maid that we pay to do all the housechores. Thank God, I didn’t get carried away with that…my daughter, my kids actually, still got their fair share of house work. 

Fast forward 4 years later, it suddenly becomes part of her to keep the kitchen tidy, sweeping and mopping inclusive. I’ve caught her on several occasions now, handling the kitchen without being told. I’ve even enquired from her, “Babe, is everything okay? Why this sudden change? ”  Her reply, “there’s nothing there. Or shouldn’t I clean again?”

There’s something there o! I’m just happy, someone is fast becoming independent. 

My advice to fellow mothers, don’t give up on training your kids to be self-reliant. They will grumble, they will even try to frustrate you…don’t just relent. Even if you have a house full of domestic staff, they are your kids, so get them involved in house chores. Don’t spend all your energy training other people’s kids, they will come and go. 

MY DAUGHTER PRACTICALLY INVADES MY SPACE…HELP! 

MY DAUGHTER PRACTICALLY INVADES MY SPACE…HELP! 

She’s the one on my back!


Whether you people like it or not, you will have to continually hear my lamentations and cry for help! 

Can anyone tell me if it’s a crime to have a last child?…I mean, someone has got to be last one way or the other! 

My last child is 8 years old, yeah but she still thinks she’s a year old; she sneaks into my matrimonial bed almost every night, and she does this after fooling us with “Mummy, Daddy, goodnight “; she prefers to watch TV in my room, despite having one of theirs and in the living room; she loves to have her breakfast, lunch and dinner in my room and on my bed! 

Wait a minute, do you guys really understand how bad this invasion is?!

I’m generally relaxing with hubby on the bed…everything going on nice and smooth until ‘yours truly’ decides that it’s in our middle she has to stay. And I’m like, “You know you are being a maggot, right?!” And she’s like, “I know and I’m loving every bit of being a maggot!” and she’s looking up at me with a huge grin on her face…this is just not right! 

Anytime, I’m on my own just chilling, she chooses that moment to ‘mutilate’ my body…she’s either pecking me all over, until I practically scream at her “Let me be!”. She stops for a few seconds and stares at me like “Are you done?” Just when I’m thinking she’s left me alone, she attempts to wriggle underneath me like a baby kangaroo! I threaten her with, “If you don’t stop this minute, I’m leaving this house for you…and for good!” 

Now she’s sitting on my back /: 

If anyone has a remedy to this invasion, Pls mail me…or any human ‘pesticide’