Shocked beyond words

I’ve tried to understand in different languages this worrisome letter. Since I haven’t been able to come up with any reasonable explanation, I’ve decided to share it with you guys…and then you tell me if the writer has spiritual problems following her from the deepest root of her village! 

The letter

How can a fellow woman want sex so bad, she needs her intestines shifted…how?! Are you telling me, that nothing else fills this woman’s thought except an enlarged penis?? 

Woman, whoever you are, you don’t need an enlarged penis, you need deliverance…or peeps, am I missing something hia? 



So, this morning, some article on caught my attention. 

Cho’zyn and his bride to be

Now this guy, Cho’zyn (what a name), shocked people, when he proposed to his girlfriend in public. 

Cho’zyn proposing

My question is: what’s wrong with that? Is it because she’s plus-sized? Or you think plus-sized babes don’t deserve the same amount of love that ‘skinny’ girls get? I don’t just get it! Because, in all honesty, they don’t even know this girl as much as Cho’zyn (I still don’t get this name) does. Thank God, Cho’zyn did the right thing by publicly declaring his love to his woman for the right reasons! 

And in his own words, as expressed on social media…

#SheSaidYes!! Words can’t fully express how much I love you! Thank you for your constant love, encouragement, support, motivation, and being my best friend. Thank you for your patience with me and making me feel like the greatest.

At first, when I saw the article and the picture following it, I thought to myself, this must be a Nigerian guy trying to get citizenship from this innocent girl! Then I read that he was based there(whatever that means).

Gist culled from



The truth is that on the long run, you will eventually rip the benefits. 

I say this because, my 11 year old daughter is a living proof. I thank God I took the initiative to start training her early enough, say age of 7. Some of you may ask, “isn’t that too early?” My answer, “No”.

I guess my kids showed they were ready enough when I observed they were always having blind arguments, and speaking all sorts of big big English…and I’m like,”if these kids had house chores to do, where will they find time to be arguing? ”

I started with my daughter, being a girl( I know I shouldn’t be doing gender discrimination, but let’s be real, this Nigeria). I put her in charge of tidying the kitchen for the next one week, after which she would alternate with her older brother ( I knew that one would frustrate me but anyhow sha). Check out the grumbling, or the fact that she would leave the kitchen in a worse state…but I refused to give up. After I have crosschecked her job, I could and would make her do it all over again, up to 6 times. In no time, she learnt to tidy the kitchen well. 

Another thing, most of us (mothers) do is that we tend to ignore training kids just because we have a maid that we pay to do all the housechores. Thank God, I didn’t get carried away with that…my daughter, my kids actually, still got their fair share of house work. 

Fast forward 4 years later, it suddenly becomes part of her to keep the kitchen tidy, sweeping and mopping inclusive. I’ve caught her on several occasions now, handling the kitchen without being told. I’ve even enquired from her, “Babe, is everything okay? Why this sudden change? ”  Her reply, “there’s nothing there. Or shouldn’t I clean again?”

There’s something there o! I’m just happy, someone is fast becoming independent. 

My advice to fellow mothers, don’t give up on training your kids to be self-reliant. They will grumble, they will even try to frustrate you…don’t just relent. Even if you have a house full of domestic staff, they are your kids, so get them involved in house chores. Don’t spend all your energy training other people’s kids, they will come and go. 



She’s the one on my back!

Whether you people like it or not, you will have to continually hear my lamentations and cry for help! 

Can anyone tell me if it’s a crime to have a last child?…I mean, someone has got to be last one way or the other! 

My last child is 8 years old, yeah but she still thinks she’s a year old; she sneaks into my matrimonial bed almost every night, and she does this after fooling us with “Mummy, Daddy, goodnight “; she prefers to watch TV in my room, despite having one of theirs and in the living room; she loves to have her breakfast, lunch and dinner in my room and on my bed! 

Wait a minute, do you guys really understand how bad this invasion is?!

I’m generally relaxing with hubby on the bed…everything going on nice and smooth until ‘yours truly’ decides that it’s in our middle she has to stay. And I’m like, “You know you are being a maggot, right?!” And she’s like, “I know and I’m loving every bit of being a maggot!” and she’s looking up at me with a huge grin on her face…this is just not right! 

Anytime, I’m on my own just chilling, she chooses that moment to ‘mutilate’ my body…she’s either pecking me all over, until I practically scream at her “Let me be!”. She stops for a few seconds and stares at me like “Are you done?” Just when I’m thinking she’s left me alone, she attempts to wriggle underneath me like a baby kangaroo! I threaten her with, “If you don’t stop this minute, I’m leaving this house for you…and for good!” 

Now she’s sitting on my back /: 

If anyone has a remedy to this invasion, Pls mail me…or any human ‘pesticide’



I don’t know how many of you have mums who literally raid them! I do and I’m totally helpless about it. 

Everyone comes to pay a visit and generally have a good time, but No, not my mum. My mum comes in the guise of visiting, with a long mental list of things to loot. After spending a few minutes, fooling me with pseudo-juicy gist, she gets up and wades to my room. And I’m like, “Mummy, where are u off to, sebi I’m still here gisting  with you?!” Of course, she ignores me. *exasperated 

Today, if it’s not my jewelry, it is either my headties, bags, wrappers (she knows I don’t do wrappers), or my priceless utensils! She will sha take something…packing like those party packs given at the end of a party. 

Well, yesterday being Boxing Day, pained me the most…give me a minute to cry. 

I mean, Boxing Day is supposed to be a happy day, right? Well, wrong…I wasn’t. While everyone was busy having fun and eating, my mum was ‘shopping’…. I just tire. I watched her walk away with 2 of my best, recently acquired bags; one for party and the other for work. 

I miss my Fendi chain bag ):

And my Marc Jacobs ‘Friday’ bag…

…. It is well sha. 

If I had attempted to take it away from her, like some of you are wondering… My mum would have pulled a fast emotional blackmail on me, right in front of onlookers. She’ll first of all start with the fact she’s a pensioner and a widow…then move to the gist of her being an orphan and no siblings to look after her. How she feels abandoned by her children. How she feels alone in this world. How she suffered for each and everyone of us(especially me…before, what will she say?! )….before you even ask her questions, she starts bawling…and then all eyes will be on you like the ‘wickedest’ child ever liveth! 

Such drama… I had foreseen all these. So I respectfully stayed calm and watch her do and out do me.