Just that one moment in time…

Culled from infograph.venngage.com

I’ve tried to push those thoughts, thoughts of that day out of my mind but it’s proving even more difficult. The memories of what I felt still stuck in my head and in my heart…

It was a very exhausting day. I was completely exhausted. It had been a fulfilling day but draining. I couldn’t wait to get into the car and lean on the soft chair at the back seat of the car.

The ride home was quiet, music playing softly at the background, the night breeze just right… My mind reflecting on the work I had accomplished for the day. I was obviously pleased with the outcome.

I was a few minutes away from home when hubby called to pick him up from the lounge (I remember rolling my eyes up in my head… This man can never sit still in his house. A real showman).

While waiting for the green light to come on at a T-junction (oh, how I hate the traffic lights, they cause unnecessary delays for me), a loud and consistent tap on the window of the car on my left side suddenly jolted me back to reality. I see a small creature of say about 4 or 5 years but in reality could be about 8 years, if only life had been kinder to her. She looked like one of those child beggars that could be so annoying. I tried really hard to ignore her, like I always do anyways.

It bothers me really how we live in a country where the government has no plans for people like these. They are left at the mercy of ‘good samaritans’ and that’s if they get lucky. I personally feel these kind gestures from people keeps them on the streets even more. Because one kind gesture from one kind human will spiral the move of the ‘village’ to the streets. News travels fast amongst these people. So my philosophy has always been to not give to anyone on the streets. If they don’t see to get, they’ll leave. I hope my ‘hypothesis’ proves itself one day.

That night was different. Just when my irritation level was rising, the little girl leaves my left side in which my hubby was on and scurries to my side, further increasing the rap on the window. Just as I was about to shoo her away, my eyes caught hers while she kept demonstrating with her dirty small hand that she needed food… and I saw it all in a flash, I mean a flash: extreme exhaustion, hunger, pain, neglect, desperation to live, desperation to be loved, hopelessness… And then she stopped and leaned on the window, as if it were a life line.

In that moment, I desperately searched for a loose cash, any cash really to give to her, just so that she would feel ‘normal’ again. I turned deaf ears to my hubby’s plea not to give because that would encourage ‘them’, her tribe. But something inside of me didn’t stop searching for that cash to give her. I normally wouldn’t do this, but this night was different. My driver finally found a N200 bill and I hurriedly gave it to her, after I had woken her up from her so called sleep on my window. I wished I could have held her tight and given her a kiss, like I would have my kids. 😦

Just that one moment I felt the love a mother would for her child. I couldn’t help but wonder what would become of the N200 bill. Would the child actually use it to get a good meal or would she give it to her ‘master’ who put her on the streets in the first place.

That Bitter- Sweet Feeling of Revenge

That Bitter- Sweet Feeling of Revenge

I felt it. It overwhelmed me for a few seconds and I shook it off almost immediately as I felt it. It just didn’t feel right allowing myself get soaked in Revenge.

I knew my ‘payback’ moment had come. That would have been the perfect time to correct all the wrongdoings that had been done to me in the past. So what stopped me?! God, the priests, my spiritual direction classes, my mum! All their teachings flooded my head just when I was about to execute my long awaited plan. The thoughts of these teachings started in my head then found their way into my heart, melting it to a pulp until I became helpless and annoyingly emotional about everything.

I tried everything possible to turn it back to ‘Revenge’ mode but all I could hear was that voice saying, “Chidi, just let it go. I am bigger than all of these”. And that’s how the narrative changed o! But the Nigerian in me was still trying to see how I could infuse some mischief in the help I was to render but to no avail. The truth is, when God is associated with something, everything is plain pure.

I won’t lie, I was angry. Angry at my helplessness. Angry at how God took over the situation. Angry at how my long awaited revenge just blew up in my face. But guess what, my anger didn’t last long. I felt these invisible hands on my shoulders, softly massaging me to calmness. I tell you, Anger is a horrible feeling and spirit that leaves you drained and in a regrettable situation. I felt drained and sick to my stomach that I almost allowed myself be that vengeful and bitter person.

I immediately wished I could turn back that situation and reply the way I would normally reply to any situation that required my help. I reminded myself again why I was different. I am not a hateful person nor a vengeful person.

That my friends, was my Bitter- sweet moment.

WHY WE NEED TO PRAY FOR OUR HUSBANDS

WHY WE NEED TO PRAY FOR OUR HUSBANDS

Behind every successful man, is a prayerful and resilient wife

…ever heard of this saying? It’s actually a cliché which a lot of us never really pondered on. Hmmm…

If there’s nothing I’ve learnt in my 15 years plus of marriage, I’ve learnt that truly the minute a man and a woman have formed a union before God (called Marriage), the woman is automatically bestowed with an immense power to indirectly ‘rule’ her home but the man takes the glory.

In the early years of marriage, we are completely overwhelmed by all the problems that come with marriage : emotional, financial, social and spiritual (all these will be expantiated in future posts), that we completely forget to do one thing…PRAY!

We spend so much time thinking and rethinking all our challenges, so much so we allow the devil fill our minds with the fear of the unknown. During this trying period, this unspeakable fear may push us to think, say or do things that will push us further away from God. And still, we do not PRAY!

A lot of us want our husbands to be and do a lot of things…but it’s all in our heads and not from our hearts. Because if it was truly from our hearts, we would understand that it’s not by our power or might or our husbands’ power.

It is true that our husbands can say and do things that make us not want to pray for them. They can be inconsiderate, uncaring, abusive, even negligent. But we should not let all these bad attitude block our efforts in building a happy home. God has said in His Good Book that whatever we bind on earth will be bound in heaven and whatever we loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

What we need to understand is that the devil doesn’t like union at all, especially one blessed by God! Get off your ‘shego’ (female ego) and submit all manner of bad behavior to God – alcoholism, laziness, bad temper, domestic abuse, infidelity, family negligence, etcetera etcetera.

I found out much later that marriage is not only for enjoyment ; some people start their marriages with trials and tribulations but later end in joy while some start the marriage with ‘over enjoyment’ but experience some turbulence along the journey. Sometimes our hurt and anger for our husbands does not allow our prayers work.

We are the only ones that have the power to release our husbands from whatever bondage they may be in, not even his mother’s prayer or his sister’s prayer is as powerful as ours. While we pray genuinely for our husbands, we also go through spiritual and emotional changes. Our heart becomes right, we start to unburden and become better wives.

Let us PRAY so that we start to reap the benefits. Let us form the habit of looking to God as the source of all we want to see in our in our husbands and in our marriages.

May God help us all in the bid to be happy in our marriages. Amen.

GETTING MY KIDS TO EARN THEIR KEEP

GETTING MY KIDS TO EARN THEIR KEEP

So my older kids got fed up of the usual ‘ ₦1,500 per week’ pocket money and asked for a raise! And I’m like “Really?! You guys have to work for it o!”

My kids look at me like what in the world is she talking about, “It’s your job to take care of us”.

For as long as I can remember, my kids practically drive me bunkers trying to get them to do even the simplest of all chores! Now this was a golden opportunity to monetize each chore as long as they were properly done. *Hehehe

My son wants to drive my car but is not ready to wash the car like he owns it (who does that?!); my daughter wimps each time she has to tidy the kitchen (but she does it well anyways, it’s just the wimping that gets to me)…Amma relax ‘cos I see a lot of good coming out of these.

So I gather my brood and practically give them a lecture on the need to get rid of the ‘Entitlement Syndrome’ as well as the importance of being self-reliant. They eventually agreed to ₦200 per chore. But the chore has to be carried out properly. Failure to comply, the sum of ₦100 will be deducted. ‘Shakena!’

For some time now, motherhood has become more fulfilling and quite interesting, especially ever since I discovered the key to demystifying my kids!

So, my take on getting your kids to be more responsible is to first of all, understand your kids, understand what will definitely get their attention and what will most definitely not, know the different parenting styles (check here) and choose the one that will do the ‘trick’

So help us God. Amen

“RACE AGAINST TIME”

My head is banging. I can hear my heart beat really fast. The energy completely drained from me, like an alien had zapped it while I was asleep at night! If only I could just lift a limb out of the bed, then maybe, just maybe, my energy would be restored. But I can’t even lift my eyelid…

I tried to drift back to sleep but sleep suddenly has ‘deserted’ me! With my eyes still shut, I do some deep soul-searching…Hmm. These feelings are all too familiar. But, why am I feeling this way? Could it be work? Hubby? Personal goals? My spiritual life? Kids? Debtors? Creditors?

Oh! Oh! Oh!…the tasks ahead of me! They are just too many things I need to do and complete by the end of today. I hate carrying work over to the next day…it’s just an endless vicious cycle. I can’t stand these feelings anymore…I need a permanent solution!

I’ve decided to prioritize my activities (this is so cliche! *eyes rolling) as time goes by. I’ll time every activity, I”ll even time my laughing! Putting my activities on a roll call doesn’t just cut it…Nah.

I can feel my energy seeping in slowly. Wow! The headache is all gone. My heartbeat suddenly back to normal.

So that was problem, TIME…My race against time…

I hope this good feeling last long enough for me to achieve my scheduled activities…well, lets keep our fingers crossed till the end of the day!