Now is this a good thing or a bad thing?… To love your man real hard. When I mean ‘hard’, I mean totally and completely with so much abandon. 

The harsh irony of taking the route of loving hard is that your love stands a major chance of not being reciprocated! Because of this ‘bad’ choice, you end up compromising everything, even your happiness, and ultimately your peace of mind. 

So what’s the way forward? Because, if you end up not showing too much love (aka ‘fronting’, aka ‘forming’), and the relationship doesn’t work out, you will definitely be blamed, not the guy! You will be blamed for making the guy look foolish loving you! 

The solution… Flow with the flow. If he shows love, show love. If he holds back, guard your heart with immediate effect! Some relationships thrive better when it’s a ‘Cat and Mouse’sort of thing. 

So, what do you guys think? Should we go ahead and love hard, hoping the guy will take a cue from that? Or should we hold back until the relationship has been thoroughly ‘investigated’? 



Wife: why don’t you like hanging out with me?
Husband: excuse me, but we go out! (puzzled look)
Wife: Okay, when was the last time we hung out?
Husband: o God, let’s no go there please. Have you asked me to take you anywhere and I refused? (still very puzzled)
Wife: Am I supposed to? You are supposed to do all asking and I choose to accept or not! Why do I have this feeling that you’re ashamed to be seen in public with me?!
Husband: Where is all these coming from now? Okay choose where you want to go and then fix a date.

End of discussion. Fast forward 2weeks later…

Husband: Let me quickly go see Mumsy and I’ll rush back.
Wife: Hmmm… So I’m guessing, until late then

Evening now…

Wife: Tell me honestly, do you really want to go out (waiting to see Husband’s reaction)
Husband: You are funny, I’m sure you are tired and looking for a way to cancel! (playing same reaction-game)
Wife: If your friends had asked you out you won’t give it a second thought and would meet them at any cost, now it’s my turn, you are ‘stuttering’!
Husband: No, with my friends it’s easier to hang out. I don’t have to do anything. Besides, you don’t go to bars.
Wife: So with me, you have to do something?! Like what?
Husband: Yes… Like I have to behave myself!
Wife: LMAO… You kidding me, right?!
Husband: Okay, let’s go Karaoke

The Aftermath…

Na wah o! The story of a wife’s life!Lol…Fellow wives, start speaking out…for your own good or else you will carry last. Full stop.


Please, please and please make me understand why a woman will remain in a house where she’s been battered physically, emotionally and mentally?!

Make me understand why you will tolerate an abusive relationship or marriage for so long!  *abi dem do you

Make me understand why you will choose not to expose a monster you call husband?

Make me understand why it doesn’t bother you that your kids watch as you are battered!

Make me understand why you won’t leave to fight a good fight or leave so that you can live to see your kids grow the way you wish for them to grow!

Make me understand why you choose not to fulfil your destiny as a mother, not just to your kids but to a nation that yearns for your motherly touch!

Make me understand why you think you will have no life without him… Is he your God?

Make me understand why you want to add to the general statistics of women who died from Domestic Violence

Make me understand why you choose to end your life this way

Even if you don’t want to live for your kids, at least for the sake of all those human hair you have acquired over time… Peruvian, Brazilian, Mongolian… Who will wear them?! That is, if you don’t value human life!

Ronke Shonde chose to stay with a monster, and what was the result? Death. Her husband murdered her in cold blood, he beat her to death, right in front of her kids (6 and 4 years). In 6 years, she could have left, but she chose to remain in that house.

Anyway, no point dwelling on what could have been. The point is how do we keep other women in domestic violence situations alive?

Please, women, let’s all stand against domestic violence . Abi, we should start helping them report without their permission ? #confused



How many of you Wives or fiances have “teething” spouses?! Okay, partners that throw tantrums?! Well, if you don’t…lucky you! Lol!

I’m still trying to figure out why some men find it difficult to say what’s eating them up? Meanwhile, it’s usually easy for a woman to just snuggle up to her man if she needs TLC or simply tell him, “Honey, show me some love. I’m in dire need of some sugar”. Biko, how is this statement difficult to say.

It’s funny how guys react when they need attention… Comes with a lot of drama I tell you.

When you notice that your man is practically complaining about nothing or his just keeps ranting over nothing really or he just got back from work with a disgruntled look, give him some space …it’s really not about you. So don’t crack your head thinking about what you did or didn’t do. Like my girlfriends will say (and I probably agree with) , maybe, just maybe he had a fight with his ‘girlfriend’! That’s not even the time to ask too many ‘jamb’ questions or nag, like some women have PhD in!

Just go about doing the regular things you would do for your hubby. And just when you notice that the mood is quietly returning to normal, you can gently give a nice loving ‘I understand’ or “I love you either way” hug…. I know you too need attention and hug but it’s not about you at that moment.

Voil√†! Everything will suddenly become normal again. It’s not that easy to decode a disgruntled husband but with God’s wisdom, a truly patient non-selfish wife can achieve that goal, just for peace sake really.

Have a blessed day ahead.



Saying I’m broken hearted is just putting it mildly.

The way couples in general handle this big ‘job’ called marriage, is seriously becoming bothersome. It seems a lot of couples go into the marriage contract without actually understanding what they are signing for! They go in with a lot of expectations of and from each other, or hoping to change the other!

So, what do you girls do at the bridal showers?! Is it only for fancy?! Part of the reasons, bridal showers are held in Nigeria (I don’t know about other countries), is to get a ‘verteran’ in marriage to share her wealth of experience and wise words with the bride-to-be.

With the video Tiwa granted Pulse TV, barring everything about her marriage to the whole world, especially to people who never meant well for her, has proven the immaturity that comes with marriage. *Even the interviewer was so annoying, with her “at what point?… *

Really Tiwa? Did you need to? You are as guilty as TJ (as you fondly call him). Maybe if you had granted this interview after you have signed the divorce papers, I wouldn’t mind… But you are still married. You have not only started talking, you have succeeded in exposing your ‘period pant’! *excuse my French

That interview wasn’t necessary…my verdict. You didn’t need to prove your innocence! Those who know you (close family and friends) are not blind. A ‘third party’, being the world and Co. do not… I repeat…do not need to know “how you suffered”…take that gist to the Lord. Even if you needed to empower women, all those details where not needed.

Simple silence would have sealed TJ’s madness, teething problems, tantrums, name it what you like. Because the ship is sinking, doesn’t mean you should go down with it.

Tiwa dear, let me remind you… You are a Celebrity, and the world, including I, will be in your ‘bizness’… We are the 3rd party people… Please learn to keep your privates to yourself #greatadvicefromabigsis

Tiwa, remember I’ve always adviced you to choose your friends wisely. Who advised you to do this video, who? Just say, let me start on that person! Have we ever heard that person’s story?! Do you sef know that person’s story?! This ‘gist’ you have given us, is what it is GIST and will remain so!

At moments like this, you don’t need the ‘world’ consoling you. You should be spending time in getting yourself with closest family members and true friends, especially those that know the true story.

If want us to look at your situation critically from the world’s point of view, you should also take part in the blame. Did anybody force you into marrying TJ?! If they did, then you are justified. You are aware of all his shortcomings, yet you decided to sign that marriage contract. You chose to provide as a bread winner where he failed to! Did he put a knife to your neck? So please don’t start shouting foul play. Or abi he use ‘jazz’ for you? You knew he was ‘doing’ weed before marriage, now cocaine is shocking you?!

Did you think you were doing him a favour by marrying him, just because he helped you climb that ladder?! You simply short changed yourself. You do yourself! All these behaviour of TJ did not start today…even a blind man could tell he was and is a low-life.

See Tiwa, how you choose to make your bed,is how you will lie on it! If you don’t like, you can quietly leave!

Final advice, no more word from you again about this. Then, go and remove that rubbish video, instead, go and write police report for the record. Jamal doesn’t need to grow and see this 12 or 15 years later!


I pray for God’s peace in both your lives. Amen.