Lately, my fingers have remained permanently crossed! Just when everything seems to be going on well, I just had to mess things up!
Some people are sworn to be single for life… I might just be one of those people! Why can’t I just have a normal date? Why can’t things happen smoothly in any of my dates? I refuse to give up on love, never!
That’s how Chris, fine boy-no pimples Chris, asked me out on a date. If you know how long I’ve been eyeing this boy, you’ll join me in celebrating. I made sure I didn’t make noise about my interest in Chris, or else those my funny friends will become all of a sudden too friendly! I needed no disturbance that day. So, everything was going according to plan.
That evening, I won’t lie, I had been feeling slightly unwell but you know now, ‘single and seriously ready to settle’ me, I just had to go on this date. I guessed it might just be one of my usual stomach flu…
It was one of those five star restaurants on the Island, the ones I dreamt of in school…and trust your sister, I represented every step of the way.
Unfortunately, he hadn’t made any reservation, but we were lucky to get an empty table in the middle of the room. Even with the number of people in the room, you could still hear a pin drop… Okay, I exaggerated a bit, but it was somewhat quiet.
Shortly before the waiter brought our meal, I suddenly felt this sharp pain in the pit of my abdomen. I thought I was going to die, I swear. Chris was really bothered and just when he was about to reach for my hand, there was a loud unending boom! I realised that the sound was from me…I had just ‘farted’! My goodness, I wished that the ground swallowed me.
I noticed the room and all the people in it had stood still. Without prompting, Chris quietly eased me out of my chair and out of the restaurant.
The journey back to my house was painfully silent… Didn’t wonder why!
Did Chris say anything to me after he dropped me home? No. Did Chris call me after that day? No. Did Chris even attempt to visit me days to weeks after? No. Keep asking me questions about Chris, and the answer will always remain a big “No”!
That’s how fine boy Chris slipped out of my bare hands. No one should just tell me about marriage… It’s by God’s grace I tell you.