Dear NHW,

Please help me out of my dilemma.

I’m in love with my sister’s husband and I don’t know what to do. I really don’t want to cause issues between us. At first, I thought it was just a passing feeling but for the past 7 months, the feelings have only grown stronger.

I’ve lived with my sister for the past 10 years, since I was 18. She has always taken care of me. I started developing feelings for him since I was 25 and I’m not sure if it’s because of the way he smiles at me, gists with me and sometimes, gives me even money. All in all, he takes care of me.

Now for the past 2 years, I’ve been dating a decent young man. But my feelings aren’t as deep for him as my sister’s husband. Lately, he’s been complaining that I don’t pay attention to him, or even pick his calls. Frankly, I don’t love him.

Please, help me out of this torture. Should I tell him how I feel because he may just be feeling the same for me.

*My dear, you are being possessed by the devil. All these thoughts and feelings for your sister’s husband is so wrong. Yet,  you claim you love your sister. You don’t love her, you envy her and your envy is the fatal type!

What you need to do, is leave your sister’s matrimonial home. After all, you’ve overstayed your welcome. Now that it’s obvious that your living with them is going to cause problems in their marriage, then it’s time to leave.

Concentrate on your fiance. Move in with him if you have to (even though I don’t support co-habitation. It leads to see finish syndrome). Most importantly, pray against these impure feelings.

Please I beg of you, don’t make a fool of yourself by telling your sister’s hubby about your feelings for him. What do you hope to achieve, especially in destroying their home?

May God grant you wisdom in dealing with this problem.


  1. “Should I tell him how I feel because he may just be feeling the same for me”

    That’s actually a more compelling reason for not telling him how you feel about him. What will you achieve? If he feels the same way about you,, your sister’s marriage will breakup.
    On the other hand, if he doesn’t feel the same way about you, his opinion of you, and maybe, his attitudes towards you will change negatively.
    Just move on with your life. I won’t advise you to move in with any man before marriage. If you feel that you don’t love the man you are dating, you may be right, so keep your mind open for someone else. However, if he feels genuinely about you, give the relationship a chance, the love might grow later.


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