Dear Naijahousewife,

I’m totally devastated. It just dawned on me that my boyfriend doesn’t love me for who I am, but what I am. I’m so broken. And my mum had been telling me this but I failed to listen to her. She saw it all.
I recently graduated from Medical school, so that makes a certified doctor. I met my boyfriend at a family function about 2 years ago and it was for me, Love at first sighting… I’ve never been in Love before or dated anyone. I practically idolised this guy.

I was raised as a simple middle class girl. Make up wasn’t and isn’t still a big deal for me. But my boyfriend always insisted I wear fake lashes, use the brightest lipstick and heaviest eye shadow! I never liked doing it but because people around me kept saying that for one’s relationship to last, you have to do what your partner likes. So I generally succumbed to all his demands.

My family didn’t like Who I had become. I was now more arrogant and generally cranky. Maybe because I knew I wasn’t really me in the relationship.

One time, my boyfriend took me on a dinner date so as to introduce me to his friends. I guess I needed their approval because they all took turns in assessing me. If not, how else would you explain the barrage of questions from each of them or the one that reached underneath the table to assess my toes!

I guess the scales were gradually falling off my eyes when I observed the way he would introduce me to anybody. He always started with my profession, emphasising it before saying my name!

I’ve come to a sad conclusion that my boyfriend never truly loved me. I think his ambition has always been to settle down with a medical doctor who was within his taste.

I’m not writing to get an advice from the house because I know what to do. I’ve decided to break up with him.

*My dear, you’ve made the right decision. I like ladies like you who love not only with their hearts but with their heads. See how sad you are in the relationship, so imagine it would get worse in marriage. I pray a lot of girls would do the same… Shine their eyes.

Any relationship that doesn’t permit you to be yourself is not worth keeping.

I wish you well in your future relationship.


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