As much as I love Toke Makinwa with all my heart, that won’t stop me from speaking my mind based on her recent vlog topic, #youarebetteroffalone.

It’s common knowledge already what happened to Toke, when her husband impregnated his long time lover and friend. And frankly speaking she’s allowed to vent, any which way she chooses…she still maintains that right and no one can take that away from her.

Needless to say, I want to seize this precious opportunity to advise every married woman, whether newly married or not, that is hurting presently in their marriage, that is not in a domestic violence situation, to quit complaining, gradually carry their crosses and keep moving. If the cross is too heavy for you as the case maybe, you reserve the right to ask for assistance. People in domestic violence are exempted from what I am saying because, they need to step out of that marriage, temporarily or permanently, in other to save their lives first. Being alive in any situation, is most important. 

Now, the ‘cross’ I’m referring to in the marriage setting, are the normal problems women encounter, problems that generally keep you bothered or sad. 

I must also say, that I’m yet to witness a marriage without problems. So it’s not right for any woman to come out and start crying as if they are the only ones who are experiencing tough times in marriage. Problems in marriage don’t happen in order to break you, but only to make you stronger. Now how you choose to deal with that problem will determine how strong you come out. 

Women should never forget that they had a choice to marry or not to marry their husbands. Before marriage, most of you chose to ignore your spouses’ flaws! You didn’t think that these flaws would come back to hunt you…but it was your choice! So please, we should quit blaming the man totally for everything…

  • You knew he was a pathological liar…but you went ahead and married him.
  • You knew he was in and out of a long term relationship, and chances are that he still loves his ex…but you went ahead and married him.
  • You knew he was an unrepentant womanizer…but you still went ahead and married him.
  • You knew he never spends a dime on you even when he is financially buoyant…but you went ahead and married him.
  • You knew from day 1 that he loved his job more than life and that there was a high possibility of you being neglected in marriage…but you insisted on marrying him

So you my fellow wives, the problems of your spouse, did not start today…you were blinded by love and affection you had for him. Like I still maintain, it’s not the problems that count but how you choose to deal with it…after all, marriage is “for better for worse”. 

So my final words on Toke’s vlog topic #youarebetteroffalone is that it should only be for a little while so that you can not only lick your wounds, but heal properly. Those trying moments in marriage, is the time to ask God for wisdom  in handling situations…yes o, you can’t handle it alone.

There’s no guarantee that the next person you meet won’t do worse, so make your decisions wisely.


  1. You are too judgemental Mrs. If finding a good man was easy for you. Thank God. You’re lucky. Its very easy to sit on the sidelines and talk freely, cos u dont know where the shoe pinches. You’re in a position to say that is right and this is wrong. Toke is dealing with her feelings the way she can. Leave it. Maybe you should understand peoples perception of things. Btw regrding the school trips, ppl die while sitting, while sleeping even while working. Please stop trying to discourage other parents from school trips its God that keeps everyone.


  2. I guess desperation forces a lot of women to make wrong choices in marriage forgetting that it’s a choice they have to live with for the rest of their lives.

    Liked by 1 person

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