Marina Margulis just shared with us on Your Tango, no-nonsense tips on how to kick start one’s love-life.
The dating market in 2015 is brutal. There a hundreds, if not thousands, of online dating sites. There are more advice articles on the Internet on how to fix your love life than how to fix your toaster oven. It seems like everyone is hooking up at all times—except you.
So why not you?
While the road to the altar is elusive to many, here are 3 things that you can do right now to kick-start your love life immediately:
1. Get Out There
The love of your life isn’t going to fall on you from your kitchen ceiling. In order to find him or her you need to actually do something about it!
- Post your profiles on a dating site. Just make sure that you actually GO on dates and instead of carry out a virtual relationship.
- Join a Meetup.com group for like-minded individuals who share your hobby. Again, you’ll have to actually attend the gatherings and not just follow them from the comfort of your laptop. Invite colleagues to have a few drinks or accept an invitation for the same.
- Check out a local watering hole. Nobody likes to drink alone. People who gather at the bar are usually there to socialize.
- Go on a singles cruise or at least a weekend getaway.
- Throw a party and ask your guests to bring their friends who you don’t know.
You get the picture. Whatever it is, you need to actively put yourself out there into situations that are most conducive to meeting someone. Unless you’re volunteering your apartment for a community board meeting, you won’t find any love connection there.
2. Eliminate ‘The List’
Admit it, you have a list. You know, the list of all the physical and intellectual traits your ideal partner MUST have. We all do. The question is: How long is yours? If it contains more than five bullet points, burn it. Your list should contain nothing but non-negotiables, like marriage, children, etc.. Everything else is nothing but a quick path to perpetual singledom. The more traits you include on your list, the more people you eliminate from your life. Some of these are the people with whom you could have fallen in love—had you not rejected them before even meeting.
In reality, love is blind and unpredictable. There are millions of people out there who will tell you how surprised they were by their choice of a partner. The same people will tell you how happy they are that they gave it a shot.
3. Be Realistic
If you are a 50-year-old overweight truck driver, will you find love with a tight 27-year-old lawyer? Perhaps, but the chances are quite low. Will you settle for singledom until then?
If you barely graduated high school, chances are you won’t have a long-term relationship with a PhD in Neuroscience. Sounds harsh? Not really. You can either live in the utopian fantasy of your own imagination or embrace real life. In real life, you need to take a good hard look in the mirror and ask yourself if you would date you. If the answer is “No”, fix whatever needs improvement. Whether it’s your wardrobe, weight or education, start by becoming the person you would want to date.
After all, you don’t want to settle, so why should your potential partner?