Many will agree with me that about 70% of marital problems borders around ‘Money’. Money can truly be the root of all problems in marriage…the matter tire me! But there are ways around it and I’m here to offer some advice on it.
In marriage, it’s not possible to have a couple who are both ‘savers’, someone has to be the ‘spender’ and the other the ‘saver’. *I can spend for Africa!* In this sort of situation, it’s important that the ‘saver’ spouse assists the ‘spender’ spouse in saving, rather than criticizing! Quarrelling still won’t solve the financial mess, but communicating will.
In order for peace to reign, you guys could do the following:
- Be open about your finances…at least 80% open. Because there are some spouses that are just horrible, as soon as they know the financial state of their spouse, that ‘saver’ spouse automatically becomes the ‘spender’ spouse…by fire by force.
- Choose a good and calm time to talk about your financial state and maybe budget. Definitely not when you guys just back from a hard days job or even the market.
- Talk about opening a joint account for some recurrent expenses like rent, school fees, vacation, etc. I still believe in joint accounts, but if your spouse insists on handling the cost of these expenses…don’t stop him. *Hehehe*…just be a helper!
- Address what is really causing your spending habit. Is it ‘ojukokoro’ or the bad spirit of spending or maybe a curse in the family?!
- You shouldn’t use money as a weapon against your spouse. If you have the money, then spend it on what needs to be done in the house. Don’t be stingy or wicked.
- Be real and stop living a fairytale life! Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses…don’t even try!
- Stop the ‘blame’ game…no need trying to state the obvious.