Just got home from work and my lousy maid hasn’t done a thing in the house! I psyched myself to calm down, even took breathing exercises! My plan to sack her heightened more than ever.

I slowly walked to my room excited…you know why. I called her to my room.

“Ma, hope no problem?” She stupidly asked, already guessing there was a problem… Smart girl.
“No o! Not really…maybe for you!” I blurted. Ouch! Chidi, that’s nasty!

I have learnt over time not to just sack them like that, you have to come up with a good story that has to do with your cousin coming over to help or you wanting to train your kids better. All these, so that they don’t start begging you for a second chance. Last time I gave one of my maids the boot, she begged so much I had to take her back a second time. Trust me…’wrongest’ move!

So this time I came up with ‘the cousin’ story. She took it well. At least no begging and her last day is tomorrow. I intend to get my whole 2 weeks from the b@#&h!

Just so she feels alright with the boot, “Have you eaten?” I asked like I cared! Hmmph!

“No Ma. I’m fasting in my church”. Hmmm…that’s a new one. Too good to be true.

I ventured going to the kitchen to serve myself some delicious rice I had cooked earlier but had no time to eat in the morning, only for me to see that someone had boiled almost a full pot of yam…even when there was enough rice to go round for 3 people!

” Lizzy! Who cooked yam?” I asked impatiently.
“It’s me Ma”. She replied, looking guilty.
” I thought you said you were fasting?”.
“I broke at 12 Ma”, she replied.

I just shook my head and hissed. Who the hell does this girl think she’s fooling? Thank God, I won’t be seeing her lazy ass again after tomorrow.

And so my people…that’s how Lizzy, the educated maid hit my last nerve. Help me thank God.

Learn from my mistake… for being desperate for a maid!!