While taking my son to school, I couldn’t help but notice some young ‘promising’ boys just wasting away, hanging around doing absolutely nothing, very early in the morning at a time when people are rushing to go to school or work. I just thought to myself, these boys cannot and should not be blamed, they probably lacked one thing…a FATHER FIGURE!
A lot of men these days, obviously do not understand what it means to play a major role in a child’s life, talkless of in a boy-child’s life. They think it’s all about bearing kids and then leaving the rearing to the women!…No oo! It’s all so wrong to think that way, no matter how busy you are gathering that cash.
Each parent has a role to play in every stage of a child’s life. It even gets to a point in that child’s life, when the man has to take up the responsibility of ‘grooming’ his son while the woman does same for her daughter(s).
You all agree, that in the early stage of a child’s life, say when that child is born, up until the child reaches adolescence, both parents have a significant role to play in his or her development. The child needs to understand basic things such as love, forgiveness, respect, everything about family, when both parents are together. That is to say, both parents join forces to basically nurture that child optimally.
As soon as adolescence hits that child, GENDER ROLE, in terms of mummy, daddy role, come into play. It just has to. Mummy already sort of knows what to say to her daughter to make her be that great lady. Daddy should also bond more with his son during this period to ensure he becomes that respectable man in the future. Once in a while, mummy and daddy can reinforce each other’s efforts, so that they see to it that their efforts are not in vain. Now, this called SHARED PARENTING!
It hurts me to watch a lot of fathers become ‘absent’ in their sons’ lives. No matter how you see it, your wife can never be a man, she was never wired to think like a man! Your teenage son needs that TALK with you! There is only so much your wife can do. It takes strong-willed women to raise men, respectable and successful men. I duff my awesome hat for you women in this situation.
Husbands, men, it’s not all about money. The women still need your input in moral instructions.
Up till now, some men who are fathers do not know the following about their kids:
- the name of their school, their class teacher, their class sef!
- Their school work and how their kids are coping with academics generally.
- their favorite meal.
- their social life- who their kids hang out with, their friends, etc
- their emotional life – what makes them happy or sad
- their goals and aspirations
But these men are fast to give money and buy these kids the latest gadgets! They don’t need toys and money, but your time, no matter how little. Use every opportunity you have as a parent to hang out with your kids.
If you still can’t find time to do all these with your son…you are as good as a SPERM DONOR or consider your wife a Single Parent. Let your son grow up and then beat his chest that his father made him who is.
Father who bathe, cook for their kids, even spend time doing school work for their kids, I respect you. Keep doing what you are doing. Don’t let your ‘funny’ friends tell you otherwise.
Start today to make a mark in your son’s life, get involved in his life! Don’t wait till he grows a beard or becomes somebody in life without your input…
After now, when that boy becomes somebody in the future like Innocent Idibia, all of you will be coming out from your hiding place, claiming right!