Image credit: Imgarcade

Dear NHW,

Please I just need to clarify from you.

Something happened on Saturday between me and my husband. We had an argument over him cheating on me. I saw some texts in his phone from one lady, indicating that they had sex and it was good. Unfortunately for my husband, I was about to use his phone to make a call when the message came in. I read it and I immediately confronted him about it.

An argument ensued. Just because I didn’t catch him on top of her does not vindicate him and so he tried to wiggle his way out of it. And there’s nothing I hate more when someone is trying to make a fool of me and so the only way I could get back at him was to blurt out,”Don’t worry dear…equation is balanced so you don’t need to argue or apologise!” He asked me to explain what I meant and I told him that it was balanced because I had also cheated on him in the past and was still fighting with my conscience when he did his own! Meanwhile, this was not true. I only said it because I was angry.

As soon as those words came out, my husband slapped me so hard! I was in so much shock that I didn’t really get what happened. I’m supposed to be the aggrieved person here.

I plan to leave my marriage because that’s how this domestic violence thing starts. What do yomlu think ma, should I be worried because this is the first time and I don’t want there to be another time.

*Dear blog reader, don’t you think you are being a bit melodramatic! I really should scold you for putting fire into the problem. It would have been your call for an apology but now you’ve spoilt things with your caustic mouth. Now how am I sure you’ve never even cheated. Granted, your husband shouldn’t have hit you but he is human. What were you hoping to achieve by retaliating? Now that he hit you, you want to move out…not necessary. From all indications, your marriage sounds really young, hopefully in time you will both mature.

You need to be more prayerful and ask God for wisdom, understanding and knowledge. Don’t be hasty in talking. Action and reaction often times, is equal and opposite.

Anyway couples do have squabbles, go and Communicate with him. You could start with an apology or other ways to massage his ego. Wish you all the best dear.


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  2. Be very careful of what you say. Words are like egg, once it falls, it shatters, you can’t have it back. You were too hasty. In add much as I am not trying to exonerate your husband, did it ever occur to you that the text message might have been sent to him in error. Now you have compounded issues by “confessing” to him that you cheated on him.
    Even if he actually cheated on you, your statement was very careless (even if it was true as well). Anyway, all hope is not lost, you should swallow your pride and apologize to him. Try to make him understand why you acted the way you did. Don’t be too much in a hurry to quit your marriage.

    Liked by 1 person

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