I just turned 30.
Am I scared? Very much so.
I’m so scared of winding up alone in my ‘old’ years…no husband, no baby,…not even a boyfriend! At this rate, I might end up visiting the ‘sperm bank’, to get me a baby! At least, if I don’t have a husband, I should have a baby.
I’m wondering if something is wrong with me. Maybe being a ‘good’ girl isn’t paying off after all. Remembering how I was raised, the good catholic girl, I was never allowed as much freedom to go on dates or even hang out with my cool friends, and so is beginning to have a toll on my social life (needs mega revamping!!).
At my age really, I should have my phone buzzing like there’s no tomorrow, endless instant messaging from loads of guys, guys queuing up to take me out on a date…but no, what do I get?…the ‘deafening’ silence of my room!
Yes, I am bitter because contrary to what my mother taught me, it’s obvious the ‘good’ boys don’t like the ‘good’ girls! They prefer bad girls…and really, I hate to admit this but I’can’t stand the ‘good’ boys either…simply ‘bauring’!
And to think that just few years ago, 5 years to be precise, I had planned my life out – married at 25, baby number 1 at 26, baby number 2 at 28, and then probably round it off with another one for the road at 30.
Yikes, 30!!…still here, no man, no baby, no relationship! So now, I’m gonna search for my man in my own terms!