ARGUING IN FRONT OF YOUR KIDS HELPS THEM HANDLE CONFLICTS LATER IN LIFE

Arguments often flare around the dinner table at Christmas but these rows appear to make children better at dealing with disagreements in later life by changing the way their bodies respond to stress

Photo credit: DAILY MAIL

Who agrees?

According to DAILY MAIL, the points raised are as follows:

 

  • Scientists found that people who experienced intense verbal aggression as children are better able to handle disagreements later in their lives
  • Those who had reported seeing their parents and other family members arguing as children had a lower stress response when discussing conflict
  • One expert said: ‘Conflict experiences can be beneficial, by alleviating tension and avoiding conflict escalation

Dr Lindsey Aloia, who led the research at Rollins College in Florida, said that experiencing arguments at a young age appeared to make people better at managing the stress that accompanies them in adulthood.

She said: ‘Conflict experiences can be beneficial, by alleviating tension and avoiding conflict escalation, reducing communication apprehension, and contributing to closeness within the relationship.

The findings appear to contradict previous research that has shown that people with experience of conflict in childhood are more likely to be argumentative themselves in future relationships, while also having an increased risk of depression, distress and anxiety.

Dr Aloia said that some studies have also shown that people who experience large amounts of conflict can suffer from relationship dissatisfaction and are even more likely to become physically violent.

The latest findings suggest that experiencing arguments at a young age can alter the way people’s bodies react to stressful situations.

The researchers warn that this may in fact make them less likely to shy away from an argument as a result and they hope to explore this in future research.

Well, NHW doesn’t particularly buy the idea of arguing in front of the kids. Some arguments can be inevitable in front of kids but how quickly the issues are resolved is key.

One can consider arguing in front of the kids based on the following criteria:

  • The frequency of the argument
  • The intensity of the argument
  • Associated behaviors following the arguments e.g name-calling, shoving, beating, etc
  • Situation after argument e.g hugging, kissing,

My kids generally don’t like seeing unhappy situations, more so their parents arguing. My son, for one, gets bothered seeing mummy and daddy quarrel, but is quickly re-assured when we let him know that we are only trying to get our points across and then he sees that we kiss and make up.

One may also argue that really a healthy amount of parental arguments that is properly resolved will help kids deal with conflicts later in life, so that they do not go on thinking that life is all rosy.

 

 

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