Sex can be a major problem in marriage apart from money or affection. It’s great when both of you are on the same page when it comes to sexual matters but it’s horrible when one spouse can’t seem to get enough and the other is already tired after a round or may not even be interested in the first place.
Some major Libido killers may include the following:
- Lack of Communication between spouses – both parties always busy doing their own thing separately. The longer this occurs, the wider the gap of affection.
- Extreme exhaustion from stressful jobs or activities – especially a 7 – 10 job, or handling very active kids. *Tell me about it*
- Unresolved marital squabbles – there is no way someone’s sex drive will be high if he or she is aggrieved.
- An unfulfilled personal life.
- External ‘love interest’
- Not applying variety in one’s sex life – the missionary style being the commonest and the possibility of being the most boring.
- Prescription drugs – such as anti-depressants, anti-seizure/epileptic drugs,
- Surgery – to the genitals especially.
- Pregnancy and breast-feeding can also be a major problem.
- Negative body image – especially the change that comes with child-bearing.
- Menopause – ask your aged mother, she will tell you! Lol!
According to an article published on the ‘Sexpressionist‘, it was advised that either the couple live with the difference, get out of the relationship or find another partner while still maintaining the relationship – I feel that’s a totally unhealthy thing to proffer as a solution!
So what can be done about it you may ask?
- Talk about ‘Sex’. A lot of couples shy away from this topic. Why?! Ain’t nothing to be shy about. Better still, make the conversation in the dark! Find out what turns him or her on.
- Try and get to the bottom of the problem, don’t just push it aside like it doesn’t exist. It’s going to keep coming up like a ‘bad habit’.
- If your spouse has health issues, help him or her deal with it or get some treatment.
- You with a higher sex drive… need to be more understanding and patient.
- Stop being malicious…resolve your marital problems. Ensure your spouse is on the same ‘happy’ page as you.
- If your spouse is ashamed of her body, give her words of encouragement and lead her gently out of that dark place.
- If after all these and more…see a SEX THERAPIST OR A DOCTOR
What I wouldn’t advise couples with mismatched sex drives to do.
- Involve a third party who is not a professional!
- Look for a sex partner outside your marriage. Believe it or not, it complicates the matter.
- Self- medication. If you decide to use drugs prescribed by self, or what you read on the internet or what a friend advices you to do…you are so on your own!
- Sit down and not do anything about it.