And I mean it my people.
You know as a married person, I learn everyday! I learn from everything and everyone I meet everyday.
It’s so easy to assume that you and your spouse are happy in your marriage, just because there is no quarrel or your husband is still providing for the house…in short, there is no storm, it’s been sunny all the way! You may be happy but your spouse might be the aggrieved one and just because he or she is not the talking type, might not give you an inkling that there is a problem. Not until one day, something trivial happens and BOOM!…marriage is over and you are wondering, “What just happened here?!” Don’t let this happen to you!
I met a male client that opened my eyes to reality( whatever! Some of you may argue that my eyes are always open! Na you know!). He came in with a blood pressure of about 230/160 mmHg and after much clerking, I found out that he had a lot of things on his mind, which he tried to brush off. I didn’t let him off the hook so easily..until he gave in.
He is in an extra-marital relationship with another woman for close to 2years now. He wants to end it and at the same time doesn’t want to! He claims he doesn’t want to upset the lady because she makes him happy! Trust me nah, I asked “What is that special thing she does that your wife doesn’t or can’t do?!”
“Ehm, doctor, you won’t understand”, he argued.
“I will understand. Sebi, I be woman and I can learn a lot from what you tell me”, I insisted, hoping he would say.
He finally did. He said his wife takes him for granted in so many areas. For example, after a hard day at work and he gets home, hoping to get a good meal, there will be none and the wife will be giving so many reasons why the food isn’t ready. That pisses him off. Sometimes, he would want to have sex with her, another set of excuses. He got tired and stumbled on this ‘mistress’. The mistress on the other hand calls him everyday before close of work, asking him what he wants to eat and 100% of the time, there is always food waiting for him at her place. Besides, the sex is good.
My point is this, this man’s wife is probably thinking all is well in her marriage, not knowing that one devil is working hard at claiming all she has laboured for. And if she’s not prayerful enough, the marriage might just end abruptly.
Couples really should work hard at this communication thingy.