Photo credit: The Trent

This is a True-Life experience submitted by a married male blog-reader! I need the women in the house to pay particular attention, especially for those ones whose husband is always ‘working late’ or ‘stuck in traffic’ or always having ‘problems with policemen’!  *Tongue sticking out*
This just happened to me and it is one experience, I hope to forget in a hurry! I am a happily married man with kids. I have two chics: one main chic and the ‘side’ chic. I had just met the  side chic and she had  huge bazoongas! And since I had not tasted the side chic,  we planned for an evening after dark 7:30pm on a weekend.

We finally hooked up on that fateful evening and headed to my friend’s place but on getting there, my friend was no where to be found and did not pick his calls. That was not in the plan (Not sure if he was planning to ruin my plans). After hanging outside my friend’s place for like 30 mins, I was begining to get annoyed and frustrated knowing fully well that there was serious business on ground to be settled today. 

I guess it must have been around 8:30pm when I finally gave up waiting for my friend and so me and this side chic drove aimlessly around the mainland looking for a place just to talk,gist and who knows what else that would go down. Before you could say Jack I drove into the stadium , settled for a dark corner and started gisting,smooching and deep tongueing and kissing this chic passionately. I really do not know what came over me. Adrenalin and testosterone had started coarsing through my system and I could feel my member man buckling and seething with rage like a tethered stallion.
At this point we were both on fire and before long we had moved to the back seat, I pulled off her panties and bra with so much skill that she had to comment …” Oga fun e o , you don tey for this business oo”  but at that point I was like a zombie who had only one mission ..to eat flesh .. When one is in a situation such as this, nothing else is in your mind (not even wifey!)
Chei my people .. back to business.
As we started the business of ‘oil drilling’ …. She sat astride my glorious member man and I started pounding like a mad dog neglecting my surroundings. Since we were parked in a corner, I just assumed that there was enough privacy. It must have been like ten or fifteen minutes into the business of ‘oil prospecting’ and ..I must say it was extremely SWEET that I forgot my environment…
All of a sudden from no where .. we heard shouts and feet running towards our direction from left and right and people sticking their hands inside the vehichle trying to open the door from inside because the windows were half way up….My God!!!!  I knew something had terribly gone wrong .. first thought was robbers!!!! In my mind it was like .. Yes dem don catch me today !!!!
Once they gained entry from all four doors of the car … my member man became so limp and I felt this knot in my tummy…..Hmmmmn I don die!!! Then they started barking … we don catch una today, we don catch una wey dey come fuck here …it was then that it dawned on me that these guys were the police ….I ligthened up a little bit while in my shirt alone with my half limp member man. But, the chic had nothing on!
Everywhere became very chaotic. They allowed me to wear my trouser but refused for the girl to do same, who now folded her arms over her huge bazoongas and crotch (reasons where obvious). One of them drove my vehicle towards the Police precint in the stadium while i started telling them to allow her to dress while we sort this out amicably. It fell on deaf ears and they were adamant that we go to their precint.
However on getting to the precint, the situation started degenerating. before I forget .. while trying to put on my trouser , my wallet dropped and one of the policemen picked it up and he called his boss .. “Oga this man na big man O and him get wife and pikins ..after seeing the family photos !!!.. At this point ,I knew I was in deep shit. They started threatening to go to my office to report, call in the press to take photographs and flash on PM News or drive to my house address on my License and inform my madam……
Hmmmmmmn the thought of seeing myself on those gossip soft sell newspapers made my blood shudder and my member man shrivel. Having them go to my house to inform my madam of the situation was a NO NO situation.. marriage fit scatter o!!!
My people to cut a long story short, I had to write a statement as instructed and they had my balls FIRMLY in their hands. I beckoned the most senior police there and we started talking things out …… He started advising, “You are a big man,responsible man and you should not be caught in a situation like this. Just give us 100k and we will let you go”.
100k?!!!!!!!! on a weekend in 2014, that was just too much and how much is my salary?
I just told him “Oga that one no possible O! .. I no get that kain money .. I no kill person now!!! make we settle this thing”
Meanwhile, my friend finally called after seeing the missed call and I told him I am in deep shit and location, he promptly came over with another friend and started smoothing out things with the men in black. After a while, they settled for 30k.  Unfortunately, I had only 15k on me , so they let me go and get the remaining 15k from home. That was another hurdle I needed to cross.
On getting home my wife looked at me and kept asking what the matter was and I explained that I was detained by stupid policemen because I had no certificate of ownership in my car and that I just need to pick it up and show them that I have. Hmmmmmmmm. I promptly picked up 15k and left .. my wife said please, don’t be long and I said okay.. if only she knew what was going on!
Got back to the precinct , the policeman collected the money and after counting it, he retrieved the statement, tore it up, gave back the clothes to my chic with huge bazoongas and we were now free to go.
Matter never finish o!!!!!!!
After collecting my documents, chic and clothes ,we started walking away towards the car and my friend started asking how much did the Police collect but I refused because all I wanted was to get out of that place as fast as possbile.. I finally told him after much persistence and all hell broke loose.
My friend who was not married, and obviously would not understand, dashed back to the officer screamed and shouted at him “HIM KILL PERSON??? WHY YOU COME COLLECT 30K, I NO GO GREE” and was ready to spoil for a fight. The policeman got annoyed and returned my money and said NOW we have to go to their Station and threatened to call Press .. my people!!!!
A serious argument now ensued between me and my friend and told him ..it’s my business and at this point I need to save my neck,face and also marriage ..that what the heck was he trying to prove. That was how he cooled down and I cajoled the policeman and gave him the 30k with serious begging o!!! which he collected casually. Hungry bastard!
My people na so we waka comot that night ..dropped off the chic with big bazoongas and went home. I was done with her for good. She was bad luck…even on a first date?!
This is one night I would never forget and honestly ..guys out there I would advice you to avoid those dark corners! It could be 5 mins of excitement but those 5 mins can ruin  your reputation,embarrass you and could even ruin your marriage.
I was lucky ,I got away only paying only 30k and some hours of embarrassment in front of some policemen who would not hesitate to ruin one’s reputation. Thank God that police precinct is located in a dark part of the arena.
I can look back and breath a sigh of relief and say that was close…
It was really a close shave. I love my wife but for those adventurous moments!
– Submitted by  JABEZ FULLER


  1. Men chia… women please oh respect yourself. this irresponsible selfish man blames the side chic as bad luck.. forgetting to look at himself. then the side chick the left u naked haba… in naija men they truly disgrace women.
    As a single lady I don’t tolerate married men even having a conversation with me. They say am straight forward, bc at the end of the day. It’s still u the woman who will be blamed no one else.


  2. Hmmm, this happened to me and my husband in 2011(of cos then boyfriend and of cos we weren’t having sex, just smoothing). My husband was more scared that me. We parted with 3500+ my wrist watch. Exactly what they said they would do to this guy, call the press bla blah… was what they said to us. Thank God we were not naked. Hahaha. Urs is more serious. Good for u. Toin…*tongue sticking out*


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