HELP! I AM A CONFUSED WIFE ABOUT TO COMMIT…

Photo credit: Wise Geek

I just got this mail yesterday night (and really late too) and this blog reader wanted answers immediately. Unfortunately I couldn’t post it…it was too late to do that (I’m not that inconsiderate). She says it’s okay for me to publish it. I only obliged her because I know there might be a lot of women who are probably in similar situations. I don’t exactly know what to make of it…really!

Hi NHW,

I am really confused and I need other people’s advice.

I have been married for 8 years and with 3 children. Frankly speaking, I am tired physically, mentally and emotionally drained. My husband lost his job as a banker few months after we got married. He tried a few times to get a job but to no avail and since then no work.

I have been the only one shouldering all the bills, from house rent to school fees to home-keeping and feeding. I barely have enough to take care of myself. On top of that, my husband still asks me for pocket money. I don’t feel like a woman anymore and the bills keep piling!

Now the problem is that I have a friend who is married an in similar situation as I but somehow she manages to appear extremely comfortable with the arrangement. I had to ask her how she managed and to my utmost surprise, she revealed to me that she had ‘clients’ she serviced and they paid a lot for her services. The only clause is that these group of ‘clients’ don’t use a condom, that they enjoy sex better without a condom. She says she can hook me up to a number of them who are elites in the society.

NHW, I am tempted I won’t lie, the money is mouth-watering except for the ‘no condom’ problem. Please what do you think?

 

*Blog reader, I am not going to let you off the hook easily. I understand how difficult it is for a woman to single-handedly pay the bills, let alone put up with a lazy husband…but is that enough reason to have the easy out of your problems? I’m sorry madam but I sincerely don’t think you are confused, your mind’s made up. You are just looking for a way to justify your actions but trust me, this way (without being judgemental) is not the right or healthy way…I’ll leave the spiritual part out for the preachers in the house! But seriously…no condoms?! Who does that in 2017??…hepatitis, HIV/AIDS, gonorrhoea, HPV that cause a lot of cancers and a host of others! Please don’t let the devil use you…go and work extra like your other colleagues. Have you considered acquiring some skills like hair-dressing, catering, bead-making, etc. I just think you are acting out, you crave the need to be cared for (which woman doesn’t like being pampered) because it’s lacking between you and your husband. That brings me to the part of you and your husband going to see a Marriage Counsellor*

Pray to God for strength and wisdom…

7 thoughts on “HELP! I AM A CONFUSED WIFE ABOUT TO COMMIT…

  1. Am sorry to say you are naturally lazy. He is still alive and u give prostitution a thought what if you were a widow, I wonder what you will do. Am sorry to sound so angry but its a momentary inconvenience that u can overcome together. The loss of a job is demoralising to a man I can relate from a personal experience. Cut ur costs change schools to reduced cost but good quality for the kids. U can’t live a high life for now when things get better u can live anyway u want. U want yes or no answer don’t do it

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  2. Y not commit all ur fears, cares,needs n burdens to God. Say this after me: Lord Jesus, pls forgive me all my sins. Wash me as white as snow. I drop all my cares and burdens at ur feet. I know u can change my situation and that of my husband. Thank you Lord Jesus. Amen

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  3. Mscheww is your own the first ? Neither will it be the last.You need to change ur set of friends,stop asking for a pity party,wake up and buckle up the battle is not over.so if go and start sleeping around and your hubby finally gets a job?And his boss you have slept with?abegi go and pray 🙏 to Baba God.

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  4. In order words you’re cool with prostitution the only qualm is that you want to use condom. Even if you are morally bankrupt (forgive me for being judgemental), AIDS, Hepatitis, HPV, CM9 are all real and will inflict much more suffering on you than poverty can ever do. Be advised

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