Photo credit: Intent Blog

A lot of pre-marital relationships (relationships that are ‘supposedly’ serious ones that is!), are usually built on falsehood. This may not necessarily be because your partner is untrue about the whole thing, but because you are the one that is being untrue, about your feelings, about what you want or about who you really want to end up with.

Now before you make the major mistake of your life, you better sit and ask yourself the following home truth:

  1. How do you honestly feel about yourself? A lot of times, people enter a relationship with low self-esteem. If you don’t value yourself, how do you expect your partner to value you. If you are in this kind of situation, don’t say “Yes” just yet, seek professional help first to find out why you feel the way you do.
  2. How and what is your relationship like with God? A foundation for a successful and fulfilling relationship and marriage is GOD. If you just entered a relationship, then commit it into God’s hands so that he can direct you and your partner through the right path. (I am not preaching, this is a fact of life)
  3. Do you have ‘baggage’ you need to ‘claim’? Do you have problems from your past or present weighing you down? Do you have secrets that may affect your relationship negatively? Now is the time to talk about it before “I do”.
  4. Does your partner have secrets? How much of his/her past do you know that will not freak you out later. Do your own healthy share of investigations.
  5. Are you sure you are always yourself when around your partner? I hope you show appropriate emotions for different situations arising?! When you are supposed to be angry about something, you see yourself apologising and begging, for what?…I dunno!
  6. Can you stand your partner’s friends?
  7. Does your partner support your dreams, goals and aspirations?
  8. Is your relationship negatively affecting your spiritual life, academic life, financial life…even your relationship with your family? Your relationship should make these areas better.
  9. Is your partner getting along with members of your immediate family?
  10. How does your partner introduce you to close family and friends?…Just friends? Colleagues at work?

Now I have told you key things to do…the ball is now in your court!


  1. You didn’t talk about the financial part. Who will take care of what (is the the traditional man that wants to cater for the family 100% or both of you will share the family expenses or there will be a percentage?) what are his financial goals, debts, investment plan, etc. This is key ooooooo


    • Lol! @Nkem, that question is key but should come up after you have decided that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. These questions are asked individually and personally when you are not sure whether to say “yes” or “no”


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