Yeah! I mean fighting well in a godly way.
It simply doesn’t make sense when couples quarrel and can’t resolve the conflict at the end of the day. Sometimes, if not most of the time, the ‘fight’ leaves you emotionally and physically drained.
When I say ‘fight well’, I mean being mature about the fight. You should both take turns to listen to each other. I understand you are both aggrieved, but what you want at the end of the day is a Solution or Resolve.
Calling each other names doesn’t do the trick or making a point with your fist…totally distasteful.
If you really can’t stand each other’s presence at that point in time, walk away from the scene and when you have cooled off (even for a bit), you can send a mail, blackberry message or even leave a note or an ‘epistle’ if you like. You should state clearly the reasons for your anger and if possible make your recommendations. If your spouse is mentally mature, he or she will reply and this may go on until you guys come to a compromise. Trust me, this gives room for a healthier and successful conflict next time…Oh, you will fight again! But better…
- No bullying.
- Give your partner an opportunity to talk.
- No Slandering (use of abusive language or slowness in giving credit).
- No holding of grudge (guarding or cherishing your anger).
- No malice (the desire to keep hurting your partner).
- No revenge (taking vengeance that belongs to God).
- No hatred (seeing your partner as an enemy)
- No unnecessary outbursts of emotions…just talk!
If you can abide by these Rules, you may go back into the ‘Boxing Ring’…