Na wah O! This seems to be my catch phrase lately. I really do not understand what has become of the Institition of Marriage these days. Everyone seems to be walking out of it nowadays, especially when they are not getting any form of satisfaction from it. It makes one wonder “Whatever happened to all the ‘for better for worse’ vows taken on that day, not to mention the ‘in sickness and in health’ vows?” It seems to me as if people say these words in the peak of excitement without seriously considering what they are pledging in the presence of God!
By now, everyone knows the ‘hot topic’ trending on social media…The Chris-Anita Oyakhilome Divorce Saga. Is it really news?! And if it is News, is it a good or bad one? The Power Couple’s relationship has taken a nose-dive. Nigerians sha! They like to create a false standard that they themselves cannot to maintain and that is why when anything happens, the lime light is on them because they have given people the wrong impression about what Marriage is…perfect!
I am not writing to criticize anybody. I am not writing to say who is at fault or not. But the question is…IS DIVORCE TRULY THE WAY OUT OF A ‘BAD’ MARRIAGE? No matter the reason, can you truly go back on the oath you took on that supposedly ‘happy’ day in front of God? Even in the worst case scenario, such as Domestic Violence, I advocate for women to leave (not divorce) their husbands especially for safety reasons. Because, if truth be told, no matter how many papers the court signs in the name of divorce, as long as you got married in the presence of God, you will continue to remain married in His eyes!
When a couple decides to get divorced, especially one such as Anita and Chris, it makes you wonder if they truly understood The Word they preach. They are assumed to be The Chosen Ones who are meant to lead the people through the right path but Alas! They have not only shown the selfishness and pride that has consumed their relationship but have succeeded in causing a division in the house of God. This divorce saga goes only to prove that right from the onset, the Ministry was founded on everything that does not signify what God stands for, especially LOVE.
Up on till now, I am wondering what that ‘unreasonable behaviour’ that Anita is claiming is?! I am human and it is only normal for me to wonder. It is almost like saying “there are two types of people in this world, Me and Others”!…do you get?! Okay, she said she is going ahead with the divorce based on “adultery and unreasonable behaviour”…na wah O!
I refuse to judge anybody, but I must say that these 2 people have not really told us what is really going on…did they do ‘arrangee’ marriage? Did they decide that “okay, we will stay married to each other for this length of time just for the ministry to grow?” You guys can say whatever you like but this is Nigeria and we are Nigerians!! It is easy for people on the outside to judge and say all sorts, but the fact still remains that, these 2 people, Anita and Chris, know the truth and nothing but the truth.
My advice to people generally is not to take Panadol for anybody’s headache. Instead, every married couple (who is still in marriage) who fears God, should take time to analyse their marriage so that it does not lead to divorce. And all of you people who think that Marriage is a Bed of Roses, please cease to be hypnotized! Marriage is what you make of it and it takes 2 to tango! It takes 2 people to make a Marriage work. People are in marriage to win souls for Christ. Marriage is a ‘job’ that has to be done, not because you want to, but because you need to! No two people can be the same in Marriage. So if you feel you are the ‘bigger’ Christian, then do the needful, and help your spouse out of the spiritual ‘blindness’. If you walk out, then you are not any better than your spouse…you are both spiritually blind.
A marriage cannot work if :
– both man and wife enter into that contract with ‘hidden’ agendas!
– there is no communication between them. That is to say that they do not understand each other when any one of them speaks. Someone is ‘hearing’ but is not ‘listening’.
– they couple has not been their ‘true’ self right from the very onset.
– there is a breach in the initial contract. That is why I am saying that these 2 people are not telling us what their prenuptial agreement was.
– it’s foundation is not of God.
– the couple’s main focus is not on ‘building a family or home’
Well, I have decided to free this ‘issue’ from my mind and better tend to mine. For now, Chris and Anita have lost their place as ‘Mentors’ in the Marriage Institution.
May God help us in the decisions we make in our marriages. Amen.