Good morning beautiful wives!
I don’t need to say much today even though this is not what I wanted to post. Who knows? I might still post the main gist for today but this one that they have called off strike, I dunno O!…let’s see how it goes.
Many of you have been calling me all sorts, from ‘Beijing woman’ to ‘Husband disciplinarian’ to ‘Feminist’, just to mention a few. I hope you have read Chimamanda’s position or opinion on the role of the African woman (she didn’t say it is on African women but she must be referring to us nah!). Even though I don’t totally agree with all her points of view, this one completely sums up my thoughts so far on the Nigerian woman. And it is a behaviour that has been passed down from generation to generation and is still being passed down.
Let’s come very close home, in fact, the women I (emphasis on I please take note) meet on a daily basis. They are so fake in every aspect of the word, pretending to be the most righteous or holiest than thou, pretending to love God more than you! Damn! I hate that they been you and your lifestyle, meanwhile they want some of it so bad. You can tell that they are struggling to be their true self, but society and their mothers have moulded them to “…turn pretense into an art form”, according to my dear Chimamanda. It takes a strong woman who appreciates her ‘Essence’ to break free from the society’s perception of her.
These women who have been trained to be silent, are the ones that fall victim to Domestic Violence and all manners of oppression. When ‘stubborn’ women like me act our true selves, rather than these ‘oppressed’ women be encouraged, motivated or inspired, they begin to either tarnish your image, show pseudo disapproval or start an unnecessary hostility towards you. I have learnt along my path to self-discovery ( coming out soon, ‘My Path to Self-Discovery) to be content with what God has blessed me with. People often wonder what the secret of my ‘extreme’ happiness and excitement is, and I laugh telling them that It’s God…cliche right?! Wrong! The fact that I am alive, is that not a reason to be happy. The fact that God gives you another chance each day you get up from your bed, is that not enough reason to be always excited?! The fact that God provides for me and my family “our daily bread” not monthly or yearly O! but every day’s bread, is that not enough reason to be excited. The fact that my family has no reason to sorrow…not that death is inevitable O! But I am forever greatful to God almighty for everything…how did I get to this place?! *hehehe*
Mothers, please teach your daughters everything they need to know to reach their highest potential. Teach them to have a voice. Teach them to serve and to be served. Teach them to love and be loved. Teach them to be independent in their thoughts, words and actions.
Infact, let me end this conversation, by stating clearly that until you start to be yourselves, until you start to find your own voice, until you start embracing who you are, your very essence as a woman, you can never, I repeat never be happy or and fulfilled in your marriage, talkless of yourselves. You will continue to be miserable till you die(God forbid) or your husband replaces you for a finer and happier woman.
Let’s learn to draw strength from each other, be our sisters’ keeper. Don’t be a hater, don’t hold grudges( absolutely not necessary).
Live and let live!!