Remember, I told you guys that I was banking on turning a new leaf. Well, I am patting myself on the back this minute because as you can see, I am gradually publishing some of the letters that were sent to me! Normally, the rule is not to publish names and addresses of my fans who send these letters, but the interesting thing about this letter, is that my fan wants her name and address published, so as to pass a message across to her fiancé. Unfortunately, my dear, I can’t do that because that will be going against my policy…I hope you understand, as I have earlier explained to you.
Read on and if any of you have any advice, please advice it in the comment box. Tanx a bunch!…
Dear NHW,
I am not sure if this is the right forum to discuss what I am about to tell you, since you indicated in your profile that it is mostly about marital problems. Ordinarily, I am a fan of Linda Ikeji blog but I know that if I send her this letter, she might not post it and since I stumbled on yours, I have been addicted to it and the traffic is not too much, I know you will publish mine.
*Thank you for abusing me O! Thank you! Traffic is not much abi? Diaris God O!*
Please publish my names because I want my fiancé to know that I am referring to him. I am 28 years old and he is 34 years old. I am not sure if our love was meant to be. I am a yoruba girl from Ondo state and he is from Imo state. We have been dating for the past 5years now. We love ourselves very much. It was actually love at first sight and this same love produced a beautiful son for us, who is 3years old.
Everything was going on fine until 2years into the marriage when he had no choice but to introduce me to his family. He had no choice because I got pregnant for him. His parents automatically didn’t approve of our relationship because they made it clear that they didn’t want to have anything to do with yoruba people. They also claimed we couldn’t get married because he didn’t have a good job, which was true then but a year later, he got a very good job and is doing well. My parents came again to ask how far and they told my parents to their faces that, my fiancé being the first son and their first child couldn’t marry now because he hadn’t done anything for them or his siblings. Na wah O! Anyway, we stomached that one and my parents left in anger and shame for me.
NHW, from that last time up on till last year August 2013, my fiancé has built a family house in his parents village (he doesn’t have a house of his own O! because he stays in a rented apartment in Ikeja), and also contributed in training his 3 siblings in school. As if that is enough, they still insist that he will not marry me. What hurts me most is that when his parents are saying all sorts of things to me, he doesn’t make any effort to defend me or our love but behind his parents and in private, he will be confessing all sorts to me, making it even difficult for me to leave the relationship. His mother is very aggressive and abusive towards me, not to mention the hostility from his Aunt. 
My parents have begged me to forget this guy and move on because in all honesty, his parents have no regards for my parents. His mother practically moved into his rented apartment so as to make sure I do not have access into his house. She doesn’t really stay there but she is always there almost all the time. She has taken my spare key from me and my fiancé has done nothing about it! Each day, I am getting more convinced that this guy doesn’t love me. This year is fast ending, he has not made any plans to have me in his future. Am I the stupid one?! Will I be the first to have a child out of wedlock? He is not fighting like how I have seen others fight for the love they believe in. I remember when we I first started dating him and how my parents reacted when they heard he was Ibo, if you see the way I defended and fought for him in his absence, my parents had no choice but to accept him. But I am not getting that feeling from his side, instead what I am getting is nothing but ‘politics’.
Let me even shock you and what prompted me to write you, he recently told me that he intends to travel to Canada to pursue a degree course for one year and says I have nothing to worry about, that as soon as he gets back, we will tidy up our relationship problems. Hey! NHW, if I say that my heart is not broken, I am the biggest liar on earth. Maybe he thinks I am a fool abi…I am not continuing with the relationship but I have not said anything to him. I really want to hear what others have to say before I close my heart totally. 
Please, help me. I need God’s intervention. His people are not even struggling my son with me to tell you how disinterested his family is towards our relationship.
*Wow, wow, wow, wow, Wow! I am lost for words for you my darling. I hope for your sake you have a good job because you have to keep in view that you may end up being a single parent. Don’t mean to be harsh. I will advise you what I advise unmarried people in a relationship. You need to commit that relationship into God’s hand from day 1. A lot of young people get carried away and forget to include God in the relationship, forgetting that it is He alone that can weather the storms in the relationship. No relationship is easy, especially when there are external factors involved that can even sway any of the partners from the main reason and focus they got together in the first place. It is not too late to involve God my dear, let Him be the one to make that decision for you because it’s not like your fiance has rejected you or told you to your face that he doesn’t want. If it is the will of God for you guys to be together, no matter the ‘winch’, you guys will sail through. Don’t lose hope just pray and ask God for signs, as well as guidance through the Holy Spirit. It is well. #Yuk! I sound like the woman in Tales by Moonlight. 
So do you guys have anything to add?…


  1. My dear, it is not too late to pick up your life. Focus on yourself and your future. Develop your career, bring up your son in the way of the Lord. Build new relationships. Surround yourself with positive minded people. Encourage yourself. It is not going to be easy, the road will definately be rough but I know u will come out stronger, better. If the man really loves you let him do the fighting and chasing! Life no get duplicate! To any other man No ringy, No dingy! Let him do the right thing. You are not cheap! U r priceless!


  2. I suggest you focus on getting a good job or business, providing for yourself and giving him a lot of space. If you can move somewhere you wont be seeing him frequently, it might help. In short, make yourself scarce and let him know your life doesn't depend on him. If he really cares, he'll miss you and look for you. The main challenge is that your son will ask for his Daddy but you have to be strong for him. If he doesn't come back, let him be. Don't abuse and curse him. Remember he is the father of your child. God will bring someone better who will take care of you and your child.


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