Good morning peeps!

With all that has been going on lately in most marriages, I felt there is a need for all involved in this thing called ‘Marriage’, to step back and closely, as well as, critically examine our spouses, who all of a sudden deliver a surprise ‘package’. I don’t think change in marital situations occur suddenly. It is the other spouse, who for reasons best known to him/her, failed to notice the change over time.

This is not a time to be sitting and be dulling! Shine your eyes O and start reading the writings on the wall! It is not written anywhere that somebody should die inside a dead marriage. In fact, it even becomes more hazardous for both parties when they decide to endure each other. The word ‘Endure’ says it all. There is a limit to what anybody can endure (when you are not God) because after a while, it only takes a little thing before the ‘cord’ snaps.

A lot of  couples have tried to give me reasons why a spouse would go to the extent of killing his partner without thinking about. But what I tried to do is to compile a list of questions one should be asking him/herself about how healthy their marriage is. One needs to start noticing the cracks in a marriage for one to be able to determine the outcome of that marriage. It is when you are blind to all these cracks, that you are given the rudest shock of your life!

First of all, I hope you all know that the foundation of a healthy marriage are:
1. God
2. Communication
3. Mutual Respect
4. Trust

Now the Quiz:

  • What can you say you like and admire about your spouse?
  • Is your spouse happy with your choice of friends?
  • Is your spouse excited about your accomplishments or job?
  • Does your spouse ask for and respect your opinion?
  • Does your spouse have a good relationship with other members of your family?
  • Does your spouse listen (not just hearing) to you when you talk?
  • Does your spouse take responsibility for his/her actions and not blame you for his/her failures?
  • Does your spouse respect your right to make decisions that affect your life?
  • Are you guys friends? Best friends?
Now if you answered ‘Yes’ to most, if not all, the questions, then you are most likely not in an abusive marriage or one that is likely to become abusive. If you answered ‘No’ in most of the questions, then it’s time to evaluate your spouse’s mental state!
Now the Quiz:
  • When your spouse gets angry, does he/she start breaking things?
  • Does your spouse lose his/her temper easily?
  • Is your spouse jealous of your friends or family?
  • Does your spouse think you are cheating on him/her anytime you speak to someone on the phone, at work?
  • Does your spouse take drugs or gets drunk almost everyday?
  • Does your spouse ridicule or puts you down anywhere and at anytime?
  • Does your spouse hit you?
  • Do you hate yourself when you are with your spouse?
  • Are you always afraid of your spouse?
If you answered ‘Yes’ to almost everything, then it is time to think of your safety! Don’t die in that marriage or else you will become a ‘statistics’!
So, you can see that the ball is in your court. If you like, keep living in denial. Person no dey die two times!


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