I don’t understand these our Nigerian men again O! I have observed that a lot of our husbands put other people first before their immediate family especially the nuclear one, in terms of attending to their needs.

Let me use this opportunity to tell you that it is not every Tom, Dick and Harry that runs to you for help that you need to open your purse to. Please don’t get me wrong. It is good to help people (after all that is what we are called to do as Christians) but there are some of these people who you help that take advantage of your niceness. They become perpetual beggars with no focus who want a fellow man like you to be a permanent money slave for them forgetting that you have a wife and children to take care of.

I just cannot understand why husbands will attend to outsiders first before their immediate family. Who do you think you are trying to impress? You want the whole world to see you as “The World’s Kindest Man” who is married to “The World’s Wickedest Witch” (the wife)!

Let me explain to you how the ‘Maths’ works:
1. NUCLEAR FAMILY (Husband, Wife, Children)
2. Extended Family (Mother, Father, In-Laws, Siblings)
3. Others (Friends and charity cases)

So please before you rush to extend a financial hand, ensure that 1 and 2 have been settled, then you can now answer ‘SUPER-MAN’! Be informed that 1 and 2 are your investments especially 1.

It doesn’t make sense for a man to be helping his whole village when he hasn’t paid the house rent, his children’s school fees or given his wife monthly feeding allowance! Or the man that can die for his friends and not his family (and not that those friends have done anything useful to him or his family members).

It is also abnormal to be ‘helping’ the same person over and over again…you too now, check it! Is the person the only one in this world that has problems? If you want to show your generosity, go to the Orphanages, Remand Homes, Motherless and Useless Fathers with children Homes!

If the same person keeps coming back for financial help especially, then it is time to query the relationship:
– It is either the person is using you of which you are not gaining anything (Parasitic Relationship)
– Or both of you are using each other (Symbiotic Relationship) e.g Are you gay?! Did you father a child outside your marriage and they are helping you take care of that child? *just asking O!*

If truth be told our dear husbands, misplacing your priorities will not help you or your children’s future. If you die today (God forbid), these ‘parasites’ will not be there for your family! Have you not seen or heard the pitiful plights of widows…go and ask!

Or have you not seen situations where as soon as the man dies, the siblings or in-laws throw the wife and kids out all in the name of sharing his property? That is why I keep insisting you get your priorities right now. Study the ‘maths’ above well and ask yourself what is most important to you?!

You will see husbands who claim they do not have money to feed their family but are helping other abled bodied men take care of their own family!

Or is it husbands who are men enough to father children but are not men enough to cater to the needs of his family.

These words, MAN, HUSBAND, FATHER, are not for mouth…live up to the name joor! Act it! It is not defined by those things dangling between your legs! A REAL MAN NOT ONLY FATHERS A CHILD BUT PROTECTS HIS WIFE AND CHILDREN, SPIRITUALLY, ACADEMICALLY AND FINANCIALLY!!!

Please build the foundation for No. 1 well before other activities. Don’t think you are saving face by neglecting No. 1 because one day, wind go blow and fowl yansh go open! I am not saying you should not help, help but not to the detriment of your nuclear family.

#I rest my case..


  1. This is so true of many naija men o, na real misplaced priorities. They will be super stingy to their wife and kids who when they ask for money or something, the man will say “I no get” but as soon as an outsider appears, the money too will appear magically…na waya


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