My husband cheated on me about 10 years ago and got the girl pregnant, I decided to forgive him. The girl had a son for him. Time went by and my husband didn’t really want much to do with his son.

My husband would bring him to our house occasionally. Until this year, the girl in question who happens to be a prostitute, abandoned the boyMy husband was forced to bring him in to my house. I accepted it since that was the right thing to do. 

Now the problem is that, I’m not really with my husband. He has found a new girlfriend and has moved out of our matrimonial home. The thing is that not only do I have to raise my 4 kids but now I have to raise my husband’s kid as well. His kid, has behavior problems and is really problematic. I have been doing a pretty good job (I think) of raising mine because they are so well behaved and don’t have major behavior problems. Now, other people would be thinking, why I’m stupid and taking on this other responsibility since its not really my job to. But that’s the same question I ask myself everyday too. It is very hard for me to just say I don’t want to raise him anymore. I just can’t, because this little boy already lost his mom to prostitution and his dad doesn’t really want anything to do with him and his other family have abandoned him. 

I almost took him to an orphanage but changed my mind because my conscience couldn’t handle it. I really want to be there for him but at the same time it is very hard to be able to deal with 5 kids. Should I just give up and let him go to foster parents, maybe he will get the help he needs and the attention he is asking for, since I can’t really do much because I already have 4 of my own to raise. Or should I just hang in there and try to correct his behavior and try to make an impact in his life. 

I came to this site for advise not for judgmental comments. The reason is that it is harder to raise this type of child! At school he got expelled last year, this year, the only reason he didn’t was because I know the principal at his new school and he gave him so many chances but was suspended so many times. I had to get out of work on many ocassions to go pick him up and take him home. He also got kicked out of the after school program I had enrolled him in and had to beg a neighbour to watch him after school in which I had complaints almost everyday. 
Now at the summer school my kids attend and in which I enrolled him, he fights with other kids there too. Now the proprietor is threatening to suspend him! At home he likes to fight with my own kids as well, but if I keep an eye on him constantly it helps a lot. 

My kids have never been suspended or sent to the principal’s office, they have honor rolls, perfect attendance, my oldest daughter did well in her SSCE exams.  Teachers at the school always tell me they wish they had more kids like mine. But its because I raised my kids to be this way. So not being used to my step son’s type of behavior problems like he has is very stressful. I wasn’t trained for it and I’m learning as I carry on.

My husband and I are not together anymore, he doesn’t come around at all and has basically left all the responsibility to me. I’ve always had to raise my own whenever he fools around and so I’m used to doing it on my own, but I feel defeated trying to raise my step son. I do love him and would like the best for him, but I feel like I’m not cut out to do it and I feel because I don’t know how to deal with him, I am hurting him more.


  1. I pray for you. I hope he won’t get into so much trouble that you would be blamed for his lack of good upbringing, that is when his father and his mother’s relatives will surface. My advice, my practical advice is to locate his father and hand him over, you know Nigerians, they will give you advice they would not follow themselves if they were in your shoes.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s well. Just keep looking after him. There’s a reward. U might not see or feel it, but this boy has a glorious future . God will reward you greatly n give you wisdom on how to raise him.


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