The ‘Waiting Room’! I have always heard those words growing up as a child but I never in my wildest dream ever thought I would be in it and back! Yes O! I was in the queue for 3 years until God decided to answer me.
Let me give you a graphic imagination of what the waiting room is like: I would liken it to a doctor’s consultation room where while you are consulting with your doctor, another patient interrupts. The doctor puts you on hold so as to attend to the patient that just came in. That is how it is when you wait for many years for God to bless you with the fruit of the womb and then you ask “How is it that God chooses to answer some people faster than the other?” Is it because they pray more? I don’t think so. I think God in His infinite goodness knows our different situation and therefore answers us accordingly.
I am such a person whom God chose to answer faster than others who had been waiting for more than donkey years. God is indeed awesome. Sometimes, I look at my children and can’t believe they are mine.
You see, in those I waited in the ‘waiting room’, I learnt a lot about God. And I think that was what God wanted from me. He wanted me and my husband to love Him unconditionally. He had put my faith to the test and I passed with flying colors( I guess:-) ). God wanted to know if I would still love Him and serve Him despite not having children.
While I and my husband waited, our marriage was threatened. We would have countless baseless arguments and quarrels, looking for who to blame for our present situation, even though the doctors had told us we were perfectly okay. At a time, my husband wanted to blame for the abortions I had carried out in my youthful days and I wanted to blame him for the numerous women he had dealings with in the past. We had a lot of interferences, ranging from his mother to my mother, his female siblings, our close friends. It seemed as if we were been monitored! But you see, these people meant no harm but showed their concern in their own funny way, hurting us unknowingly.
Going for naming ceremonies…OMG! These were the hardest. We would leave the party earlier than normal so as to mask our sadness. At a point, we stopped going. It seemed as if we were jealous (yeah, maybe a teeny-weeny bit).
I remember those nights that I and my husband would cry out to God in pain and anguish, asking for His mercy. But still God did not answer us!
The craziest thing I and my husband had ever planned to do while waiting was to go out of our marriage and test our fertility. Yes O! The temptation was there but our faith did not allow us do it. We knew the punishment from God will be worse than what we were facing. So we didn’t try Him. We have had friends that have suggested to take us to seek spiritual help ( if you know what I mean). Our level of desperation was so high that we were ready to do anything to have that child.
By the end of the 2nd year of our marriage, we had almost given up the hope of ever having our child. The thought of adopting a child as suggested by some friends, was out rightly repulsive ( can you imagine, I detested the thought of taking care of God’s own child and yet I wanted him to give us ours).
Sometimes, as Christians, we need to slow down and ask God what He really wants from us because I believe everyone has a purpose on earth. But man in his selfish pursuit of what he wants is not interested in consulting with God first.
During the period of my being in the ‘waiting room’, God showed me different people in similar situation… Searching for child and during this time, I learnt a number of life lessons.
I met a family who had just loved a beloved wife of their son. They had been married for about 11years without child. God finally answered them but their joy was soon short lived because his and the unborn child never lived to see the light of day. I asked God if it was not His will for the woman to get pregnant talk less of having a child. Did the woman bother God so much that God eventually gave into her demands knowing the implication of her request? At that point, I decided to let God’s will be done. LESSON NO 1.
I met another couple who had been looking for a child for 8 years. We were 2 other couples gisting when our counsellor asked one odd question, “All of you looking for children, if God gave you a retarded child, would you accept?” Immediately, other couples rejected it saying “God-forbid”. But how can God forbid his own child?! I didn’t reply because that was food for thought. We all want children but we don’t want abnormal ones. Every child was created for a purpose but only God knows that purpose. Every child is a gift from God. Every child is a blessing from God. LESSON NO 2
Finally, I met another couple who had been married for 15years and no child. They finally agreed to adopt a daughter. Guess what? Within 1 year of adoption, the couple had their very first own child! God must have smiled at the steps they took in adopting a child and decided to use that child to bless them with their own. Adoption is a sure test of unconditional love. LESSON NO 3 learnt.
Everyone has an experience to share when it comes to ‘Tales of Infertility’ but one thing I and my husband have been able to gather from ours is that it is definitely a true test of one’s faith in God. It is a journey that could make or mar your relationship with God. You will see the face of God.
I end my story by asking couples in the ‘waiting room’ the same questions we were asked,” Are you saying you cannot love each other without the icing on the cake which is the baby? Is the thought of adoption so bad you wouldn’t even consider it?”
The same God who gave me 2 beautiful kids will also do the same for you. Amen.
N.B : please send your stories to firstname.lastname@example.org. You can now follow us on twitter@naijahousewife.