After so much thought, deep one for that matter, I have come to a conclusion that a typical Nigerian husband wants a M-U-M-U wife a.k.a Olodo wife a.k.a itiboribo wife a.k.a deaf-and-dumb wife a.k.a see-evil-but-no-talk-am wife a.k.a….the list is endless! Some of you fellow wives may be fast to say, “No O! Not my husband”. Wait before you start arguing, let me ask you one question, “For you to enjoy your marriage, how did you as a wife need to behave or talk?” Are you enjoying the peace and tranquility of your home because you argued with your husband? Or are you enjoying your home because you nag when he does funny stuff like smoking in front of the kids or coming home drunk? Seriously, just think about it. So you don’t know it’s because you ‘behave’ well.
Lemme give you a solid example. I was lying down on my bed pretending to sleep when suddenly it occurred to me that i hadn’t done my routine check on my husband’s phone. So I reached out to get it where it was beside him(he had fallen asleep…deeply asleep. Trust me I know cos he was snoring *wink*). First, I scrolled through his contacts…nothing! Secondly, his messages…Ah Haa! Those funny text messages from those ‘home-destroyers’! I still dug deeper into his BBM (Blackberry Messenger)…I see more ‘home-destroyers’! I move to his facebook inbox….Holy Christ! More conversations with ‘Home-destroyers’! You may ask, “What did I then do?” Lemme answer you, “Nothing”. Yes O! Nothing! So you expect me to use all these information and confront him abi? You see, if I had done that, he would have accused me of invading his privacy. Or I would have given him hell and then he will say his wife nags so therefore he needs to cool his head in another woman’s laps! Or I would have given him reason to distrust me and then he will become extremely careful ( which is what I don’t want…I need to know who my rivals are. Not that I will fight them O!) with how he leaves his personal items. So after all these findings, I keep quiet. Is this not a M-U-M-U behaviour?!
Another example is that when I and my husband quarrel, and he is at fault O! He will not apologize verbally or even act like he is remorseful, at night when we are about to sleep, he prepares to enter the ‘place’. He is not even planning to discuss the issue at hand or even send your feelings. If it were you, will you say ‘No’?
Another M-U-M-U situation is when both of us come back from a stressful outing and he is suddenly asking me, “What is there to eat?” I never even remove shoe talkless of dropping handbbag. I look at him very stupified. (No be me and him follow comot or abi na my ghost?!) What do I do?….Nothing except to SHUT UP AND COOK!!
In some other women case (because my own still better), some husbands will tell their wives not to work. Meanwhile, in the woman’s mind, she needs to work. But in this case, is it the woman that married the man or the man married the woman? So therefore, you have no choice but to obey without argument. Your happiness does not count now but what Oga at the top has said.
On a final note, if you want peace to reign, it is not everything you see you talk but you can act on it with the Wisdom of God. May God save us from M-U-M-U situations. Amen. Because one day our opinions and feelings will count in our homes and marriages.
N.B If you are a married woman and you feel like sharing your thoughts and challenges in this blog, please send your story to email@example.com